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unearths some literary gems.
From "Don't, Mr. Disraeli!" by Caryl Brahms and S. J. Simon:
[This is a kooky comic novel from 1941 primarily about two feuding Victorian upper-class London families, the Clutterwicks and the Shuttleforths. Their story is told in snippets that are interspersed with cutesy vignettes involving historic 19th-century personages. Alas, though I finished the book I found it not only disappointing but tarsome.]***There were enormous jellies, too solid to tremble with apprehension.**It is obvious to the most casual observer that someone has been knocking her down with a feather.***Aunt Lobelia [Tunnifuddle] swooned. But before they had time to wave one burned feather, she besought herself of the need for haste. So she threw off her vapors as an ascending balloon throws off ballast.***What they needed was not the fascinating M. Guitry then, but a fascinating Miss Fiddle-dee-dee now.***"Miss Adeline," said Mrs. Creamery."Adenoids," said Aunt Lobelia.***[This bit gives you a taste of the (often intentionally anachronistic) real-historic-figure business. I laughed at this one, but most of it is much more precious, belabored, and self-satisfied--and there's tons of it.]The [draper's] assistant smiles confidently."It is only temporary," he says. "I am going to be H. G. Wells later on."***He reaches for the telephone. Curses! It will not be invented for another thirty years.***His candlestick is specially designed to permit him to burn the candle at both ends. [Btw, this is the second "burning the c. at both e.'s" gag I've come across recently. The other one was in a different book by a different author, but I decided it wasn't funny enough to snippetize.]***The starter is having trouble with the horses. There are so many of them. He is cursing our authors like anything. It would not have hurt them to cut the field down to an orderly half dozen.***[Teaching a Parrot to Play Halma dept.]Over the way old Mr. Purplehammer is not sleeping either. He is teaching Lorelei to play halma.***[Bonus: When a character with expressive eyebrows crosses paths with another such character, he "eyebrow[s] him back."]
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