"What does the name of an author on the jacket matter?  Let us move forward in thought to three thousand years from now.  Who knows which books from our period will be saved, and who knows which authors' names will be remembered?  Some books will remain famous but will be considered anonymous works, as for us the epic of Gilgamesh; other authors' names will still be well known, but none of their works will survive, as was the case with Socrates; or perhaps all the surviving books will be attributed to a single, mysterious author, like Homer." —Italo Calvino, If On a Winter's Night a Traveler  (A work of genius!)

Perhaps if I stay silent, breathe quietly, and hold myself rigid, no one will notice me.  I mustn't blink; I mustn't twitch; for I am a majestic marble statue, mute and blind (albeit wearing spectacles).  Motionless stand I upon no pedestal, for Mother Earth is my plinth.

No- thank YOU! I have been unicorn-obsessed from a very early age, and am still reeling from the discovery of your breathtaking Field Guide.

I work for a public library and am now trying to ensure we have at least one copy of every book you've written. Really enchanting, thought-provoking work.

Now I'm unicorn AND Craig Conley-obsessed.

Here's a wacky birthday message generator in the style of a cryptic tax form.  Print one out for the next birthday on your calendar (especially if it's your own!)

After we researched our answer to the age-old question of how many angels can dance upon the the point of a needle, we discovered a delightfully whimsical analysis: "Science has not yet adequately answered this question, mostly because science has gone about investigating it in entirely the wrong way. Traditionally, theologians have been set to work on this problem; but, in fact, to answer the question adequately, we need a milliner, or someone of a similar profession that requires a similar expertise in the use of pins. There are hundreds if not thousands of kinds, shapes, sizes, and colors of pins, and what we need is someone capable of sorting them out and making an accurate classification of their genera and species. By way of contrast, there are only nine orders of angels; so it would obviously be easier to teach a milliner everything he needs to know about theology than it would be to teach a theologian everything he needs to know about pins."  —Dr. Boli