CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is
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I Found a Penny Today, So Here’s a Thought

Yesterday — November 17, 2019 (permalink)

How we dine out for free every single day and why it's a David Lynchian experience: all secrets are revealed in our new article over at Medium.
#restaurant #budget #dining
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November 16, 2019 (permalink)

This says that people who promptly answer correspondence are "stunted and queer."  We, too, strive to answer promptly and are unabashedly stunted and queer.  (Not proudly, mind you, for the opposite of "shame" is not "pride" but "shameless.")  From Mince Pie by Christopher Morley, 1919.
#vintage illustration #correspondence #queer
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November 15, 2019 (permalink)

"Let's all go crazy!"  From The Judge, 1921.
#weird headline #vintage headline #go crazy
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November 13, 2019 (permalink)

"The cat, 'I am.'"  To say this yourself in a truly confident tone, see the instant, non-surgical techniques in How to Be Your Own Cat.
From Supernatural Cats, edited by Claire Necker, 1972.
#cat #cat people #vintage headline
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November 12, 2019 (permalink)

From a typed message on the back of a 1908 postcard of Johnson Bible College.
#prayer #harvest
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November 10, 2019 (permalink)

Desperate times do not call for milquetoast measures.  Messrs. Meow and Miaow (no relation) enter an old wizard's manor to set up a strange ritual.  See also this unusual collection of Strange Prayers for Strange Times.
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November 8, 2019 (permalink)

We've been saying this for decades: "It takes the spittle of toad to live with electronic appliances."
From The Times News (Idaho), 1986.
#toad #vintage headline
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"Fighting with spaghetti."  From The Link, 1951.
#vintage headline #spaghetti
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November 7, 2019 (permalink)

“Possibly—just possibly—he might derive comfort from the liturgy, and even strength.  The gods whom he had worshiped might be unworthy of his worship, or of anyone’s; but the worship itself must have counted for something, weighed in some scales somewhere, surely.  It had to be, or else the Whorl was mad.” —Gene Wolfe, Caldé of the Long Sun (and though we’re Wolfe fans, this particular series of novels pales unforgivably next to the Book of the New Sun)
#religion #gene wolfe
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November 3, 2019 (permalink)

From New Outlook, 1957.  But before you can discover your real self, first you must learn How to Believe in Your Elf.
#self discovery #real self
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October 30, 2019 (permalink)

Finally, news we can believe in.  "Ghouls and ghosts ready for big night."  From Clarion Call newspaper, 1964.
#ghost #hallowe'en #vintage headline #ghoul
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"Have an antisocial Halloween."  From Bay Area Reporter, 1986.
#halloween #hallowe'en #weird headline #vintage headline #antisocial
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October 29, 2019 (permalink)

The saxophone is here called unnatural, abnormal, degenerate, discordant, nervous, and ugly, like America.  From the Muhlenberg Weekly, 1938.
#saxophone #vintage news
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October 28, 2019 (permalink)

"We are made plutocrats of the supernatural. ... Others have money ... or power ... or strength and courage. ... We have gods and ghosts."  —Gene Wolfe, Lake of the Long Sun
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October 24, 2019 (permalink)

#devil #mephisto
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October 19, 2019 (permalink)

"Is the belief in Hell passing away?"  From The Literary Digest, 1900
#hell #vintage headline
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October 13, 2019 (permalink)

Photo of Larry Hass by Justin Fox Burks, with permission.
#magician #larry hass
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October 9, 2019 (permalink)

What is it I hold, while there is still time?

—Philip K. Dick, The Man in the High Castle

#philip k. dick #man in the high castle
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October 3, 2019 (permalink)

We may never understand …

  • what happened and why.
  • why dogs whine on car rides when they're the ones who begged to go.
  • the senseless violence.
  • if love just happens or is planned.
  • the ultimate action of this or that agent.
  • the religious and philosophical significance of the Japanese flowering cherries.
  • all the details.
  • the principle of universal love.
  • the private logic behind Judy's behavior.
  • how we will be changed by our long travels.
  • why others treat us unfairly.
  • how we arrived at our present condition.
  • the deeper story, yet we know there is one.
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October 1, 2019 (permalink)

"And what of the dead?  I own that I thought of myself, at times, almost as dead.  Are they not locked below ground in chambers smaller than mine was, in their millions of millions?  There is no category of human activity in which the dead do not outnumber the living many times over.  Most beautiful children are dead.  Most soldiers, most cowards.  The fairest women and the most learned men – all are dead.  Their bodies repose in caskets, in sarcophagi, beneath arches of rude stone, everywhere under the earth.  Their spirits haunt our minds, ears pressed to the bones of our foreheads.  Who can say how intently they listen as we speak, or for what word?" ―Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch

#the dead #gene wolfe
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Original Content Copyright © 2019 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.