Unknown Significance

Left to right:
Tantric painting of unknown significance, with unspecified paint on found paper.
Limestone statue of unknown significance, discovered in Yemen.
Part of a painting entitled "Portent of Unknown Significance" by David Madzo.
"A funny little stone figure of unknown significance in the Monte Palace Garden."
A costume of unknown significance (via flickr).

The venture capitalist family is very supportive of their son who has an earning disability.

The revolving door saleman is very supportive of his twins who suffer from vertigo and have a turning disability.

The dairy farming family is very supportive of their daughter who has a churning disability.

The typographer is very supportive of her son who has no spatial sense and has a kerning disability.

The pyromaniac family is very supportive of their child who is allergic to matches and has a burning disability.

Mr. and Mrs. Claus are very supportive of their elf who has no sense of nostalgia and has a yearning disability.

The Italian city of Pisa is very supportive of its tower that has a leaning disorder.

Today's question:

Refusing to let the American Revolution die, did George Washington cross the Delaware River on Christmas night in 1776?*

With "hindpsych," the answer is "yes"!  In our Tarot spread, note that all of the figures are looking toward the left.  Accordingly, we read the cards from right to left.  The right card, "The Chariot," is a symbol of conquest, honor, and bravery.  The chariot represents Washington's boat and mission.  The middle card, "Temperance," depicts a figure pouring water from one vessel to another.  This figurative flowing between two realms points to Washington's literal crossing from one bank of the river to the other.  The left card is "Hanged Man," symbolizing a hero willing to sacrifice himself for a cause.  Note that the hanged man's life is in suspension, but he is not dead.  We can say with confidence that Washington heroically crossed the Delaware on Christmas in 1776, and we can now move on.

Inventing a Disease and Its Cure

Q: What do you call a diet clinic's accountant?

A: A bean counter.

Instant Catharsis

What do you call a community of paper with an organized system of government?
Ruled

How can you tell a homeless piece of paper?
High rag content

What might British people call a ball of unwanted paper?
A tosser

A piece of paper walks into a bar.  The bartender says, "You look parched."

A couple is eating dessert in a restaurant.  A piece of paper walks up to the table and says, "Hi, I'm Bill."

What's a piece of paper's favorite underwear?  A slip.

“He Went That-A-Way”

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Imaginary Underwear

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

While visiting Peanut Lake in Wisconsin, I could swear I spotted the elusive Peanut Duck.  According to The New Biology site, "Peanut ducks were first discovered in 1671, when they were proclaimed 'a fear-some mishe-mashe of plante and fowle' by the Church.  However, after two centuries of relentless persecution, it became clear that the creatures were far too clumsy on land to be any threat, and they were left to their own devices.  The peanut duck is also a dance."

"I knew that the network had determined that my program was going over the heads of Middle America, and, as I waited alone in the Vice President's office, I pondered my inevitable cancellation.  Finally, I heard the door creak open with an ominous 'peorrrrrrrria.'"
—Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.

(Literary humorist Jonathan Caws-Elwitt's plays, stories, essays, letters, parodies, wordplay, witticisms and miscellaneous tomfoolery can be found at Monkeys 1, Typewriters 0.  Here you'll encounter frivolous, urbane writings about symbolic yams, pigs in bikinis, donut costumes, vacationing pikas, nonexistent movies, cross-continental peppermills, and other compelling subjects.)

Today's question:

Did the Berlin Wall fall on November 9, 1989?*

With "hindpsych," the answer is "yes"!  In our Tarot spread, the first card is "Justice."  Notice that the judge holds a pair of scales.  The scales symbolize the balance of opposing forces (the political ideologies of the "East" and the "West").  The scales are mirrored in the third card, "The Moon."  Here we see two towers (the ruins of former guard towers along the wall) as well as two dogs howling together at the moon.  The light shines through the open space between the towers.  The center card, "The Lovers," promises a glorious new day of reunification.  The bright light of the sun illuminates the joining of East and West (symbolized by a bride and groom).  The cupid and officiator of ceremonies may symbolize Presidents Ronald Regan and Mikhail Gorbachev, though which is which is up for interpretation.  In summary, the cards show justice being served, a formal union taking place, and howls of emotion.  We can say with confidence that the Berlin Wall fell on November 9, 1989, and we can now move on.

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Identity Theft

Though King Neptune championed rights, he had one exoskeleton in his closet (that only his doctor knew): he was shellfish intolerant.

Wilfred Funk once collected a list of "the most beautiful words in English." The list includes such words as dawn, tranquil, hush, golden, halcyon, camellia, myrrh, jonquil, lullaby, and melody. Pictured below are four more words from Funk's list. Can you guess them?

The answer: Top left: TENDRIL. Top right: ANEMONE. Bottom left: FAWN. Bottom right: CHALICE. (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)

There are lots more lists of beautiful (and not so beautiful) English words at A Collection of Word Oddities and Trivia.

While referencing my computer's built in dictionary, I encountered a bit of editorializing that I enjoyed:


A distasteful image was indeed evoked, and it inspired what I believe is my first-ever limerick (unless I wrote any as a child).

Honey Pot Lure

The publicist for that bedsheets firm just got sacked.  Apparently, she had made too many blanket statements.  There are whispers of a king-sized money laundering scheme that would have folded the company and taken everyone to the cleaners.  Police are already on the case, and the details are being ironed out.  (It's a royal case of mistaken identities, because she's a twin, you see.)  Her career shouldn't be affected: she's already turned down one offer. 

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Hiding Vulnerability Under a Mask of Toughness

"Do you think I have all day?"  Yes.  Remember the Latin phrase carpe diem: "seize the day."

When Yul, the fireplace salesman, retired due to burnout, his son assumed the mantle.

Hiding in Plain View