"I believe everybody should keep another's diary.  It's an enormously healthy exercise."
—Enrique Vila-Matas, Montano's Malady

Over at Aeclectic Tarot, Bonnie Cehovet reviews Magic Words: A Dictionary and discusses what makes a word magical.

Meanwhile, a recent contest at SPOGG (involving the word "lickerish") offered our book Not Rocket Science as a prize.  Here's the announcement of the winner and runner-up.

From the inimitable Tom Weller, author of the classic Science Made Stupid, comes this "minim" (the perfect answer to the maxim):

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

I dreamed of a poem by Gary Barwin:

 

Which is funnier in its growing-up stage: a fern or a schoolboy?

Clue:  This is according to a gardener

Answer:  A fern.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Frances Anne Bardswell, The Book of Town and Window Gardening (1903), p. 85

Certainty #37:

"The only certainty in this issue is that, whatever he the outcome, it will please a few and greatly displease many others."
—Scott McCleskey, Achieving Market Integration, 2003

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

"I just — pfft-pfft — spent money like that." —John Miller Chernoff, Hustling is Not Stealing

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

"There may be no torture like the years when one learns little after years when one has learned much."
—Norman Mailer, Ancient Evenings  (A must-read!)

Our spectral bookcase was honored as "Bookshelf of the Week" at RobAroundBooks.  Rob says he "can’t envisage any hardcore bibliophile storing their libraries like this.  It must be hugely impractical!"  But consider the Serif of Nottingblog's viewpoint: "What you've done privileges the unexpected connections between books, between subjects.  Despite your blog being 'Abecedarian,' your book organization realizes that knowledge can be organized or accessed via a totally different set of assumptions."

Our bookcase was also featured at The Book Chook a few weeks ago.

Q: What's the best candy for a minimalist film?

A: Dots.

(Inspired by Martha.)

Certainty #36:

"The only certainty, the only truth, is the certainty of physical decay."
—Paul Cavill, The Christian Tradition in English Literature, 2007

"There should be a book, which, when made up, should be unalterable."
—John Simpson Armstrong, A Report of the Proceedings on an Indictment for a Conspiracy, 1844, p. 34.

I dreamed I underwent a colonoscopy.

Designed by the Serif of Nottingblog.

After the procedure, I was beautiful enough to appear in Amy Sedaris, Paul Dinello, and Stephen Colbert's hilarious book Wigfield.

A semi-asterisk typo from page 156 of Wigfield.

Granted, I was a typo, but that's why they called me "The Insinuator."

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Which is funnier: a wolverine or a porcupine?

Clue:  This is according to Jack C. Horn.

Answer:  A porcupine.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Julius Nicholas Hook, All Those Wonderful Names (1991), p. 317

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Jeff writes:

We're honored that our Field Recordings for Unicorn Listening Practice inspired a new color palette!

"Literature's worth lies in its power of mystification, in mystification it has its truth; therefore a fake [i.e., a counterfeit of an author's work], as the mystification of a mystification, is tantamount to a truth squared."
—Italo Calvino, If On a Winter's Night a Traveler  (Such an extraordinary book!)

"There needs to be a book just called 'Dummies.'  That way, even the smartest, most talented individuals can participate."
—Jason Tanamor, "Here's a Column for Dummies," Western Courier, May 3, 2002.

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

The hair of most so- called redheads actually is orange, but it was red, first color in the spectum and the last seen by the eyes of the dying, it was true- blue red that clanged like fire bells about the domes of Bernard Mickey Wrangle and Princess Leigh- Cheri.
—Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker, 1980.

We wish to comfort a blogger who is chilled "to think of how our language will soon be condensed to one letter words and the absence of vowels."  We saw this coming years ago.  Forewarned is forearmed.  Hence: One-Letter Words: A Dictionary and All-Consonant Words: A Dictionary.  If there's anything else we can do, let us know.

Certainty #35:

"The single certainty seems to be that there will be no going back to the status quo ante."
—F.N. Norman, Constitutional Change in the United Kingdom, 2002

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Don't miss Janet Boyer's lovely review of our Tarot of Portmeirion deck.

Jeff wrote:

"Such is the power of wine.  It is, after all, the juice that comes from a dying grape—to get drunk is to know how it is to begin to die."
—Norman Mailer, Ancient Evenings  (What a truly amazing read!)

MORRIS: What does that mean — pfft?
SHLOMO: It means nothing. ... Pfft this, pfft that.
—Allan Knee, Second Avenue Rag

From our Magic Words outpost at Blogger:

"'Creation,' like 'creative,' is one of those hypnotic words which are prone to cast a spell upon the understanding and dissolve our thinking into a haze.  And out of this nebulous state of the intellect springs a strange but widely prevalent idea.  The shaping spirit of imagination sits aloof, like God as he is commonly conceived, creating in some thaumaturgic fashion out of nothing its visionary world.  That and that only is deemed to be 'originality'—that, and not the imperial moulding of old matter into imperishably new forms.  The ways of creation are wrapt in mystery; we may only marvel, and bow the head."  —John Livingston Lowes, The Road to Xanadu, 1927

Which is funnier: “Tuesday afternoon” or “Wednesday afternoon”?

Clue:  This is according to a geologist

Answer:  Tuesday afternoon.  “I don't know why Tuesday afternoon sounds funnier than any other time of the week.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Derek Ager, The New Catastrophism (1993), p. 83.

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Our dictionary of Magic Words has garnered five new reviews:

Magic Words is more than a dictionary - it is an impassioned call to writers, magicians and laypeople to bring magic back into their vocabulary. It is, in fact, an incantation calling forth the demons hidden within our speech, and no reader will finish this book without succumbing to its spell.

Let there be no doubt about it: Conley is on a mission to promote literacy, and his love of words possesses the cabbalistic reverence of an alchemist in pursuit of gold. For it is in the meaning of each word, of each letter of each word, that we discover the mysterious powers of language - or, as the author puts it, it is the inherent enchantment of the word that gives literature its magical influence. And this book will influence you in a most magical way.

—Anthony Marais, author of The Cure

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Words are inherently magical for the writer—also frustrating, obtuse, enchanting and expressive in various moments and times. We struggle with them, delight in them, and weave them together to form significant combinations.  Dictionaries are our friends, lists of synonyms our best buddies, and there are many of us who take simple delight in the well-turned phrase.  Craig Conley has given us a gift beyond regard: a dictionary of 720 of the words used by (stage) magicians throughout the ages.  Who can forget the shiver of delight we felt when hearing "open sesame" in the tale of Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves?  Or the eternal Abracadabra! and Hocus Pocus?  Now we know where they originated, with their meanings, in combinations, and source material.  But this is no common dictionary!  Conley clearly loves words.  "Hocus Pocus: These primal, rhyming syllables echo the transcendental incantations of Latin rites, reverberating through hallowed cloisters.  They invoke an ancient, unworldly power, especially when enunciated slowly and authoritatively." (p. 327)  Highly recommended for anyone with a taste for words.

—Lisa Mc Sherry, Facing North

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This 352 page dictionary of magic words was a real hoot to review, I had a blast just thumbing through the pages and learning about myths, origins, trivia and other cool stuff. I even learned how to summon zombies and bring big changes into my life. I also found the illustrations and icons to be very helpful with the process.  I must tell you I knew of some magic words from books and movies, but I never imagined there were so many and even how they came to be in the first place. I think this voluminous teacher will go a long way in helping anyone broaden their horizons. I would recommend it to those who enjoy learning. Thanks Craig, for the interesting and informative experience.

—Riki Frahmann, Mystic Living Today

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I just got "Magic Words: A Dictionary." What fun! Magic words taken from literature, plays, movies; all the way from Ovid to Shakespeare to Ronald Hutton to J.K. Rowling!

Each word is presented as a word (with variations, if any) and then in a quote, and then meanings are given from many historical sources.

It would be interesting to sprinkle them in my conversation or journal writing or even for magic! Alakazam and abracadabra and hocus pocus, but also Hola Noa Massa, and Lit Flitt Latt Flight, and Shubismack. They are even just fun to say.

There is also an Appendix of "magic words" used by people in various professions - "action" for movies, "troubleshoot" for computer technicians.

—Chela's Amazon.com review

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Any interested in the words and philosophy of Wicca and magic will find Magic Words a fascinating dictionary packed with magic words and phrases from around the world. Over seven hundred essay-style entries probe the origins of magical words, their history, and their variations. Sources range from ancient Medieval alchemists to modern necromancers and magical legends, making for a fine trivia and study reference.

—Diane C. Donovan, California Bookwatch

Certainty #34:

"Separation is the only certainty.  Transformation is the only constant."
—Joseph Cohen, Voices of Israel, 1990

"I believe we lose immortality because we have not conquered our opposition to death; we keep insisting on the primary, rudimentary idea: that the whole body should be kept alive.  We should seek to preserve only the part that has to do with consciousness." —Adolfo Bioy Casares, The Invention of Morel

"From mirror to mirror—this is what I happen to dream of—the totality of things, the whole, the entire universe, divine wisdom could concentrate their luminous rays into a single mirror." —Italo Calvino, If On a Winter's Night a Traveler  (A book absolutely not-to-be-missed.)

We wrote a guest blog about magic words for Neatorama today.

"Somebody ought to write a book 'On the art of discovering the real motives for human actions.'"
—Rudolf Kayser, Stendhal: The Life of an Egoist, 1930, p. 176

Beats look cooler than any other Bohemian. They are the toughest, most tautly attired of all the Bohemians. Indigo, white, putty and black are the main colors, black being the most dominant. Black jeans, black jackets, black wingtips, black sneakers, black ballet slippers, black berets, black sweaters, black shirts, black coffee. . . .

Outerwear is generally the same for Beats of all sexes and will include a trench coat in black, navy or beige, a camel’s- hair coat from a thrift shop ar a navy blue peacoat. A corduroy jacket may appear from time to time in the academic as well as the non- academic Beat wardrobe. This will be brown, forest green or burgundy.
—Laren Stover, Bohemian Manifesto: A Field Guide to Living on the Edge, 2004.

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Jeff wrote:

I dreamed I was tied up.

If an animated cartoon costs $100 per second, then every production could save $1,700 by having a character seek to go unnoticed by pretending to be an unblinking statue.  The following interior monologue could play over a still frame:

True or False: A Hitler mustache is funnier than any other mustache.

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  True.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)

Certainty #33:

"Guilt may be the one thing beyond doubt, the single certainty we have."
—David Lehman, The Perfect Murder, 2000

Did you know that International Swear Like Shakespeare Day is Nov. 27, 2009?  We're honored to announce that SwearLikeShakespeare.com is featuring our illustration of curses of Shakespearean proportions.

If an infinite number of monkeys type for an infinite amount of time, will they will eventually produce every possible Shakespearean insult?  This is our question, not Wilfried Hou Je Bek's, but he did inspire it.  Here's a link to a PDF of a maledicta book produced by a group of Sulawesi Macaque monkeys: Notes Towards the Complete Words of Shakespeare.

In honor of the biggest full moon of the year, here's a lovely page from the Serif of Nottingblog's Mollusks of Jealousy:

Our Field Guide to Identifying Unicorns by Sound was featured this week at Library Everywhere.  Thanks, Mandy!

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Mandy Durham wrote:

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

"'Pfft, pfft, pfft,' Mama made spitting noises to drive away the demons." —Sylvia Smoller, Rachel and Aleks

From the mind of literary scalawag Jonathan Caws-Elwitt and the handiwork of our resident programmer Mike comes a wacky birthday message generator in the style of a cryptic tax form.  Print one out for the next birthday on your calendar (especially if it's your own!)

Certainty #32:

"The only certainty is: The lightness/weight opposition is the most mysterious, most ambiguous of all."
—Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, 1984

Saint Axl
Patron of Egomania.

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

"The author of every book is a fictitious character whom the existent author invents to make him the author of his fictions." —the stunning Italo Calvino, If On a Winter's Night a Traveler