An illustration from Earthquakes by Arnold Boscowitz (1890).  The caption reads: "Child crushed during the Viège earthquake."

An illustration from The Sociable Ghost by Olive Harper (1903).  The caption reads: "They had evidently found the buffet."

The Bogey Competition: an illustration from an 1894 issue of Punch magazine.

An illustration from A Thousand Miles Up the Nile by Amelia Blandford Edwards (1889).  The caption reads: "Each must interpret for himself."

An illustration from an 1887 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.  The caption reads: "Twelve hundred Elfin knights and more were there in silk and steel arrayed."

"Sound funny? Only if you don't live with him."
—The Ladies' Home Journal (1977)

Here's a precursor to the Bonnie Tyler song 'If You Were a Woman (And I Was a Man),' from Gryll Grange by Thomas Love Peacock (1896).  The caption reads: "If you were a bachelor, and I were a maid, I should not trust myself to be your aga—aga—."

An illustration from an 1887 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.  The caption reads: "Billings adjusted the glass to his eye and looked again. 'By Jove, it's a horse-race!'"

How consciousness bends the body: an illustration from The Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception by Max Heindel, 1911.

An illustration from A Frenchman in America by Max O'Rell (1891).

An illustration from an 1885 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.  The caption reads: "The irate woman pitched him head first through an open window."

Q: Why did the British monetary system undergo decimalization?

A: (See illustration.)

"Standing stones, of course, are not literally people, but we gain merit by knowing about them."

"Stupidity in Europe": an illustration from Following the Equator by Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1897).

Is Francophobia a voluntary condition?  Consider this illustration from The Quiver, 1872.  The caption reads: "I shall hate everything French."

For your comfort, here's what the Beyond looks like.  From Songs of the Dawn by Charlotte Murray (1887).

An illustration from The Sociable Ghost by Olive Harper (1903).  The caption reads: "Did you say that to me?"

An illustration from an 1860 issue of Arthur's Home magazine.  The caption reads: "A jar—not of honey."

Animals drawn from memory (apparently), from Bibliophile (1908).  The caption reads: "Hec animalia sunt veraciter depicta sicut vidimus in terra sancta."

"Good for Evil": an illustration from an 1885 issue of Little Wide Awake magazine.

An illustration from The History of Australian Exploration from 1788 to 1888 by Ernest Favenc (1888).

An illustration from Past, Present and Future by James E. White (1909).  The caption reads: "Table lifted from the floor without hands."

An illustration from a 1901 issue of The Lady's Realm magazine.

An illustration from On a Mexican Mustang Through Texas by Alexander Sweet (1884).

The lost art of mirror dipping, from The Saturday Evening Post (1914).  The caption reads: "'One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six — Dip!' said Mrs. Drum, and did it."

An illustration from a 1908 issue of The Windsor magazine.  The caption reads: "And I—confound you—have to blow my nose."

An illustration from Under a Strange Mask by Frank Barrett (1890).  The caption reads: "'There it is again,' she cried."

An illustration from an 1887 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.  The caption reads: "The rain came on so suddenly, and there I was on the tower, amid the wet ivy, with that stupid boy, who couldn't be made to understand a thing."

An illustration from an 1876 issue of Little Wide Awake magazine.

We like the editorial exclamation point in this illustration from B. C. 1887: A Ramble in British Columbia by Walter J Clutterbuck (1888).  The caption reads: "The Road (!) from the South Fork."

An illustration from an 1894 issue of The Quiver magazine.  The caption reads: "Making the best of it."

An illustration from an 1877 issue of Little Wide Awake magazine.

An illustration from La Vie Américaine by Paul de Rousiers (1892).  The caption reads: "L'Abus des Diamants."

An illustration from an 1885 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.

Death tips his hat to his bleed-through, from The Tomahawk (June 1870).

"Ominous birds of yore": an illustration from Peter Ibbetson by George Du Maurier (1892).

Don Telesforo de Trueba y Cozio and his shadow, depicted in The Museum of Foreign Literature and Science, vol. 21, October (1832).

"An Invitation to Ascend": an illustration from an 1852 issue of The Leisure Hour magazine.

An illustration from A Century of Ballads by John Ashton (1887).

An illustration from The Haunted Photograph by Ruth McEnery Stuart (1911).  The caption reads: "Do I look strange, I wonder?"

An illustration from a 1902 issue of The Lady's Realm magazine.

Mere smoke rings were for amateurs in Loose Rein by Wanderer and illustrated by G. Bowers (1887).

An illustration from Sing Song: A Nursery Rrhyme Book by Christina Georgina Rossetti (1893).

A precursor to Barbara Streisand from The Lady's Realm (1900).  The caption reads: "'Down on your bended knees, then, and adore me,' said Babs."

An illustration from Cured by an Incurable by Philip Bennett Power (1888).  The caption reads: "Miss Gribble had 'gone off.'"

An illustration from an 1887 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.

An illustration from a 1907 issue of The Reader magazine.  The caption reads: "May the journey you take to-night have no ending at all."

An illustration from Following the Equator by Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1897).  The caption reads: "What the sailors believe."

An illustration from a 1905 issue of The Quiver magazine.

Pumpkin head from an 1877 issue of Little Wide Awake magazine.

An illustration from A Tramp Abroad Etc. by Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1897).  The caption reads: "Turn on more rain."

An illustration from an 1897 issue of The Quiver magazine.  The caption reads: "Tormented by the family pictures."

It's "funny only if you've heard lots of limericks."
—Daniel C. Dennett, Breaking the Spell (2007)

"It bears repeating that bears climb trees!"

An illustration from The Sociable Ghost by Olive Harper (1903).  The caption reads: "The dance and cake walk."

An illustration from The Lay of the Last Minstrel by Sir Walter Scott (1887).

An illustration from an 1867 issue of The Quiver magazine.

An illustration from a 1904 issue of The Reader magazine.  The caption reads: "The figure calmly and slowly went towards the wall and passed into it."

"I see you!": an illustration from The Man in the Moon: Consisting of Essays and Critiques on the Politics, Morals, Manners, Drama, &c. of the Present Day (1804).

An illustration from The Haunted Major by Robert Marshall (1902).  The caption reads: "Executing the most extraordinary fandango of delight."

"Afraid of Thunder": an illustration from Our Young Folks (1873).

"The Huntsman Hunted": an illustration from The Oxford Thackeray.

"Indisputable materializations": an illustration from an 1875 issue of Wide World magazine.

An illustration from a 1904 issue of The Reader magazine.  The caption reads: "Doomed to haunt the scene of her crime."

Momus suggests that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out.'"
Decide for yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . .

Barefoot by Elin Hilderbrand

Three women step off a plane.  It sounded like the start of a joke.  Suddenly, a shot rang out.

(Thanks, June!)

An illustration from Terres lointaines by Paul Seippel (1897).

An illustration from an 1860 issue of Arthur's Home magazine.

A precursor to the Death Star's approach to Alderaan? From The Deer Smellers of Haunted Mountain by John J. Meyer (1921).  The caption reads: "Approaching the perfect world."

An illustration from a 1900 issue of The Lady's Realm magazine.  The caption reads: "Nethersole aspired to being sporty."

"Animal Magnetism": an illustration from an 1841 issue of Punch magazine.

An illustration from a 1908 issue of The Windsor magazine.  The caption reads: "'Who be they, mother?' asked the child in an awed whisper."

The classic 'Oh, look at that peacock' ruse for changing the subject dates back to 1889.  From Cathedral Bells by Vin Vincent (1889).  The caption reads: "'What?' asked Ina.  'Oh look at that peacock.'"

An illustration from an 1887 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.