Is it true, as Momus suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"?  Decide for yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . .

THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY by Oscar Wilde

The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.  Suddenly, a shot rang out.

Happily ever after is so once upon a time.

(via Frog Blog)

Our artsy friend Rana Adams surprised us today with the ultimate in minimalism: bare bookshelves save for our Dictionary of One-Letter Words.

“What kind of fish sings an opera?”  Which punch line is funnier: “halibut,” “mackeral,” or the real answer.

Clue:  This is from Neil Simon’s Broadway Bound

Answer:  Halibut.  “I guarantee you that a halibut is funnier than the real answer.  I mean, look at him.  Sitting there with a hat on.  If he put it on to be funny, it would be dumb.  But he doesn’t know he’s got it on, so it’s hysterical.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Neil Simon, Broadway Bound (1987), p. 10.

Ironically, most people shout "Eureka" when they're not in Kansas anymore.

Is it true, as Momus suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"?  Decide for yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . .

RELATIVITY by Albert Einstein

In your schooldays most of you who read this book made acquaintance with the noble building of Euclid's geometry, and you remember—perhaps with more respect than love—the magnificent structure, on the lofty staircase of which you were chased about for uncounted hours by conscientious teachers.  Suddenly, a shot rang out.

 

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

WAXING GIBBOUS (PRESENT PERFECT)

"The phases, the semicolon."

—Byung Chan Eu, Generalized Thermodynamics (2002)

 

True or False: Arkansas is funnier than New York

Clue:  This is according to a book about Arkansas.

Answer:  False.  “I certainly don’t see anything about Arkansas that is funnier than New York or Iowa or Indiana, and nothing even approaching Southern California.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Clyde Brion Davis, The Arkansas (1940), p. 299.

Is it true, as Momus suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"?  Decide for yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . .

THE ART OF WAR by Sun Tzu

The art of war is of vital importance to
the State.  Suddenly, a shot rang out.