CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
Featured Book
The Young Wizard's Hexopedia
Search Site
Interactive

Breathing Circle
Music Box Moment
Cautious or Optimistic
King of Hearts of War and Peace
As I Was, As I Am
Perdition Slip
Loves Me? Loves Me Not?
Wacky Birthday Form
Test Your ESP
Chess-Calvino Dictionary
Amalgamural
Is Today the Day?
100 Ways I Failed to Boil Water
"Follow Your Bliss" Compass
"Fortune's Navigator" Compass
Inkblot Oracle
Luck Transfer Certificate
Eternal Life Coupon
Honorary Italian Grandmother E-card
Simple Answers

Collections

A Fine Line Between...
A Rose is a ...
Always Remember
Ampersands
Annotated Ellipses
Apropos of Nothing
Book of Whispers
Call it a Hunch
Colorful Allusions
Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up?
Disguised as a Christmas Tree
Do-Re-Midi
Don't Take This the Wrong Way
Everybody's Doing This Now
Forgotten Wisdom
Glued Snippets
Go Out in a Blaze of Glory
Haunted Clockwork Music
Hindpsych: Erstwhile Conjectures by the Sometime Augur of Yore
How to Believe in Your Elf
How to Write a Blank Book
I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought
Images Moving Through Time
Indubitably (?)
Inflationary Lyrics
It Bears Repeating
It's Really Happening
Last Dustbunny in the Netherlands
Neither Saint- Nor Sophist-Led
No News Is Good News
Non-Circulating Books
Nonsense Dept.
Not Rocket Science
Old News
Oldest Tricks in the Book
On One Condition
One Mitten Manager
Only Funny If ...
P I n K S L i P
Peace Symbols to Color
Pfft!
Phosphenes
Postcard Transformations
Precursors
Presumptive Conundrums
Puzzles and Games
Constellations
D-ictionary
Film-ictionary
Letter Grids
Tic Tac Toe Story Generator
Which is Funnier
Restoring the Lost Sense
Rhetorical Answers, Questioned
Rhetorical Questions, Answered!
Semicolon Moons
Semicolon's Dream Journal
Separated at Birth?
Simple Answers
Someone Should Write a Book on ...
Something, Defined
Staring at the Sun
Staring Into the Depths
Strange Dreams
Strange Prayers for Strange Times
Suddenly, A Shot Rang Out
Sundials
Telescopic Em Dashes
Temporal Anomalies
The 40 Most Meaningful Things
The Ghost in the [Scanning] Machine
The Only Certainty
The Right Word
This May Surprise You
This Terrible Problem That Is the Sea
Two Sides / Same Coin
Uncharted Territories
Unicorns
We Are All Snowflakes
What I Now Know
What's In a Name
Yearbook Weirdness
Yesterday's Weather
Your Ship Will Come In

Archives

August 2026
July 2026
June 2026
May 2026
April 2026
March 2026
February 2026
January 2026
December 2025
November 2025
October 2025
September 2025
August 2025
July 2025
June 2025
May 2025
April 2025
March 2025
February 2025
January 2025
December 2024
November 2024
October 2024
September 2024
August 2024
July 2024
June 2024
May 2024
April 2024
March 2024
February 2024
January 2024
December 2023
November 2023
October 2023
September 2023
August 2023
July 2023
June 2023
May 2023
April 2023
March 2023
February 2023
January 2023
December 2022
November 2022
October 2022
September 2022
August 2022
July 2022
June 2022
May 2022
April 2022
March 2022
February 2022
January 2022
December 2021
November 2021
October 2021
September 2021
August 2021
July 2021
June 2021
May 2021
April 2021
March 2021
February 2021
January 2021
December 2020
November 2020
October 2020
September 2020
August 2020
July 2020
June 2020
May 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006

Links

Magic Words
Jonathan Caws-Elwitt
Martha Brockenbrough
Gordon Meyer
Dr. Boli
Serif of Nottingblog
dbqp
Phantasmaphile
Ironic Sans
Brian Sibley's Blog
Neat-o-Rama
Abecedarian personal effects of 'a mad genius'
A Turkish Delight of musings on languages, deflations of metaphysics, vauntings of arcana, and great visual humor.

I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought


July 18, 2027 (permalink)

"Wherever God builds a house of prayer, the devil builds a chapel there."  From Canada's answer to Dark Shadows, Strange Paradise episode 3.
#good and evil #strange paradise
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

July 11, 2027 (permalink)

Here's the text of our first guest hosting of the Insane Signals podcast:

The two very oldest books of horror are likely far more ancient than you might guess, and they offer a way to appreciate all horror films from a new perspective.  These two books are haunted by terrifying slasher entities armed with blades, who cut throats and sever heads, live among snakes, and feast and dance in blood.  There are also monsters who devour hearts, corpses, and souls.  Let's not forget the executioner whose noose drags people along as their intestines are extracted, their brains are licked, and their bones are gnawed ... all before they are hacked repeatedly.

Just how old are these books of terror with sinister casts of demonic monstrosities?  Did you guess thousands of years BC?  Yes, the books in question are the books of the dead from Egypt and Tibet. They offer hallucinatory reads, but can it be true that they color all horror in their wake?  Well, they present the afterlife in all its gory details, but they also invite us to understand life, too, as a similarly fantastical journey.  The Tibetan version most clearly states that the forbidding adventure through the hereafter is in fact no different than other illusory states of consciousness such as dreaming and waking.  Indeed, all states of existence are seen by Buddhism as in-between or Bardo-states.  We close our eyes and dream little movies, we open our eyes and seem to live different movies, we die and experience another movie on the way to either reincarnating or transcending to an unknown realm.

So if within the movie of our life we're watching a film on the silver screen, we might try to interpret the characters from the get-go as having recently deceased, their stories inviting us to travel with them through the hellish afterworld as they battle the fears and demons engendered by their past sins or bad decisions.  Applying such a perspective, we can re-interpret favorite films to discover additional significances.  

Let's take three quick examples, starting with The Lost Boys, of 1987.  A mom and her two sons make a move after a divorce, presumably dying in a car accident.  They find themselves arriving at the otherworldly, otherwise non-existent city of Santa Carla to reunite with an aged grandpa who specializes in grotesque taxidermy.  He greets them by playing dead, as if rather broadly hinting that his family has moved to a necropolis.  Santa Carla is a realm of illusions.  Within the underground lair of the vampires, maggots are sometimes takeout rice, worms shift into noodles, and wine is also blood.  The boardwalk's merry-go-round rotates like the Buddhist wheel of attachment, ignorance, anger, and desire.  But, filtered through the books of the dead, the message is uplifting, as predeceased loved ones can help us to overcome the shadows that precede us.  

Now also consider The Cabin in the Woods, from 2011.  The two surviving protagonists finally come to terms with the end of the world, deciding that humanity doesn't deserve endless cycles of ritual murder.  Seen from the angle of the books of the dead, the protagonists lost their lives before the film even started, so their final realization isn't actually about the imminent end of world since their world had already ended with their own deaths.  Instead, we can view their final realization as consciousness of their own demise and having finally let go of the negative beliefs that sought to keep them attached to lost illusions.  Only by the very end of the film have the characters integrated their own darkness and found themselves ready to begin afresh with no old baggage.  Instead of a brutally dark, apocalyptic nightmare, the film becomes a documentary of sorts about damned souls extricating themselves from the existential circle of suffering.

Finally, Dario Argento's Suspiria of 1977 can be newly understood as one freshly dead ballet dancer's escape from a netherworld of maggots, covens of human-sacrificing witches, throat-ripping dogs, electrical storms, and ambuscades of razor-wire and glass shards.  Considering her as being dead from moment one, even the film's opening with her uncanny exit from the airport begins to make a new sort of sense.  Everyone she encounters is an unsettling resident of the Bardo, either a fellow wandering spirit or a karmic hellion.  Only by consuming the entire ballet school in flames can the protagonist transcend that Bardo.  It's as if she had recited the Egyptian Book of the Dead's spell for being transformed into a living soul and not entering into the place of execution.  I'll recite that spell at the end of this piece, in case you could use it.

Argento's films, like those of David Lynch, are commonly described as dreams.  Ingmar Bergman, director of the psychological horror film Hour of the Wolf, even proclaimed that "All my films are dreams."  If the ancient wisdom of the books of the dead is correct, all of life is in fact a sort of hallucination, just as all of death is.  Waking life is no realer than the world of the dreamtime or of dying.  The great researcher of all things weird, Charles Fort, believed in a ghost world, only he decided that waking existence is wholly peopled by phantoms.  The also-great science fictionalist Philp K. Dick came to a similar conclusion in his Exegesis, that we are the dead but don't know it, cyclically living in a simulated, purgatorial world until we manage to enact enough good decisions to trigger off an intervention from a divinity or our own higher selves.  Dick wrote, "We have for a long time been dying brains/souls slipping lower and lower through the realms, but the punishment of reliving this bottom-realm life is also an opportunity to add new good karma and break the vicious cycle of otherwise endless reliving of a portion of our former life. ... We must change the 'groove' for the better or just keep coming back, not remembering, not re-ascending."

For those with faith in ancient Egyptian magic, here's the spell for never perishing as translated by Raymond Faulkner:

"I am the soul of Ra who issued from the Abyss, that soul of the god who created authority.  Wrong-doing is my detestation, and I will not see it; I think about righteousness, and I live by it; I am Authority which will never perish in this my name of 'Soul.'  I came into being of myself with the Primordial Water in this my name of Khepri, and I come into being in it daily.  I am the Lord of Light; death is my detestation, and I will not enter into the place of execution of the Netherworld.  It is I who cause Osiris to be a spirit, and I have made content those who are in his suite... I am Nun, and the doers of wrong cannot harm me.  I am the eldest of the primeval gods, the soul of souls of the eternal gods; my body is everlasting, my shape is eternity, Lord of Years, Ruler of Everlasting.  I am he who created darkness and who made his seat in the limits of the sky.  I desire to reach their limits, and I walk afoot; I go ahead with my staff; I cross the firmament.  I drive away the hidden snakes which are upon my march to the Lord of the Two Regions.  I am the soul of the souls of the eternal gods; my body is everlasting.  I am he who is on high, Lord of Tatjebu; I am young in my city, I am boyish in the field, and such is my name, for my name will not perish.  I am the soul who created the Abyss, who made his seat in the realm of the dead.  My nest will not be seen, my egg will not be broken; I have got rid of my ills; I have seen my father, the Lord of the Evening, and whose body it is which is in Heliopolis; I govern those who are in the dusk upon the western Mound of the Ibis."

What more is there to say?  I am Prof. Oddfellow, whose name will not perish.  Check out my "Priceless Spectacles" column in the free House of Scream magazine at HouseofScream.com.  And see me in glorious monochrome in the long-running series Prof. Oddfellow's Penetralia and Grave Mood Rings, on Roku, Youtube, MysteryArts.com, and in the House of Scream Studios horror specials.  
#horror #tibetan book of the dead
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest


"Your eyes are like cupcakes floating in a sea of sour cream."  From the fever dream that is The Monkees, season 1, episode 27.
#simile #monkees #cupcake
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

July 7, 2027 (permalink)

From Grooming by Pamela Stark, 1982.
#grooming #moustache #true or false
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

July 4, 2027 (permalink)

"It's as obvious as a psychedelic poster."  From Canada's answer to Dark Shadows, Strange Paradise episode 7.
#strange paradise
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 29, 2027 (permalink)

"I just can't remember all the reasons why we should get rid of the vampire."  From Dark Shadows episode 845.
#vampire #dark shadows
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 24, 2027 (permalink)

From Flying Saucer News, 1955.
#vintage illustration #ufo #illustration
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 22, 2027 (permalink)

"How do you wake?"  From The Children's Newspaper, 1929.
#vintage illustration #vintage ad #morning person #wake up #illustration #waking up #ad
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest


"There are so many unexplainable things, too many coincidences, too many unnatural occurrences."  From Dark Shadows episode 159.
#dark shadows
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 21, 2027 (permalink)

From Watch Out! by Norah Smaridge, 1965.
#vintage book #book #advice #warning #caution
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 20, 2027 (permalink)

The four seasons are salt, mustard, vinegar, and pepper.  From The Children's Newspaper, 1930.
#seasonings #seasons
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 18, 2027 (permalink)

From Vajra Bodhi Sea1979. 
#buddhism #vintage diagram #diagram
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 15, 2027 (permalink)

"Another day has to be gotten through."  From Dark Shadows episode 666.
#one day at a time #dark shadows #coping
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 14, 2027 (permalink)

It's horse sense: "Two rights won't make a wrong."  From Wee Wisdom, 1939.
#vintage illustration #horse #1930s #illustration #adage
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 11, 2027 (permalink)

"The banana are held aloft while consuming, the sausage left in reclining position."  From the Bombay Sunday Chronicle, 1941.
#vintage illustration #illustration #crew
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 6, 2027 (permalink)

"Headache?  Stop it in 10 minutes."  From The Bombay Chronicle, 1940.
#vintage illustration #vintage ad #headache #migraine #illustration #big head #ad
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

May 29, 2027 (permalink)

From The Wheel of Death by Philip Kapleau, 1971.
#buddhism #wheel of life #poem #wheel of death
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest


"I have forebodings, ominous forebodings."  From Dark Shadows episode 407
#dark shadows #forebodings
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

May 28, 2027 (permalink)

"I love you twice as much on Friday because I want the weekend off."  From the fever dream that is The Monkees, season 1, episode 13.
#friday #monkees
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

May 27, 2027 (permalink)

From The Duluth Herald, 1920.  
#vintage illustration #political cartoon #germany #walking the dog #illustration #pet walker #dachshund #long dog
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest



Page 15 of 175

> Older Entries...

Original Content Copyright © 2026 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.