CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
Here's proof that I'm not merely a "friend and pal" of Cinderella, but I'm a friend and pal of her friends, too. (Tip: having annual passes for both Disneyland and Walt Disney World really helps.) The text reads, "With greetings and best wishes to our friend and pal, Craig. —Cinderella and friends." It's been theorized that friends of friends invite one to "harness the power of loose ties," and sadly that doesn't mean neckties that aren't knotted too tightly but rather casual acquaintanceships. If you'd like me to put in a good word for you to either Cinderella or any of her friends, as a token of your seriousness just put a penny in my tip jar: paypal.me/profoddfellow.
I found a pressed 6-leaf clover hiding in an expensive rare book. A few years ago, I purchased, for an exorbitant $128, what was promised (original typo: primrosed) to be the most unusual travel account ever published -- the surrealist painter Ithell Colquhoun's exploration of the eerie magic of the Irish countryside, The Crying of the Wind. (It hadn't yet been republished in softcover; I was a year too early!) I'd been sufficiently impressed by Colquhoun's dreamy occult novel Goose of Hermogenes to trust that the travel book would beguile me. It did! And though I can't help but wonder why the Universe tricked me into spending $128 just before the softcover came out, I do know that a new softcover wouldn't have had a pressed 6-leaf clover, so perhaps it all somehow works out in the end.
Who wants to buy caterpillars, cocoons, chrysalides, pupae cases, butterflies, moths, and Indian relics of all kinds? The Bird Woman, of course. From A Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton-Porter, 1909.
"If the surprisor and the surprisee are mutually astonished, then, indeed, there is a tangle out of which anything may emerge, for two explanations are necessary at the one moment, and two explanations can no more hold the same position in time than two bodies can occupy the same lodgment in space." From The Demi-gods by James Stephens, 1921.
All the best travel guides include the imaginary. Japan, Real and Imaginary by Sydney Greenbie, 1920. See our own unusual travel guide to what many consider the most unusual village on earth: Puzzling Portmeirion.
"If here at the end of ages this is all—a white face floating in the whirling ball." From "A Leaf from the Devil's Jest-Book" by Edwin Markham, in The Man with the Hoe, 1899.
With a setup this overblown, you already know the payoff couldn't possibly live up to it, so we've left it off as a courtesy. From Lauzun by Mary Frances Sandars, 1908. Amazingly, this passage was later quoted in a piece about the art of letter writing.
"That cold-blooded demon which we call Science is killing romance from amongst us. Years ago everybody believed in the wonders of the invisible world, and ghosts were among the regular inhabitants of every rural district. Now, we are so seldom suffered to see or hear of a ghost, that a visitation has the effect of novelty." From Chambers's Journal, 1889.
Here's our anagram for Valentine's Day. (We had hoped that "put the saint back in Valentine's day" would be a Googlewhack, but there are 26 results for that phrase.)
"The portrait of our father or our mother is a sort of crystal ball into which we look in the hope of discovering our destiny." From The Collected Works of George Moore, 1918.
"As is well known, women and birds are able to see without turning their heads, and that is indeed a necessary provision, for they are both surrounded by enemies." From The Demi-gods by James Stephens, 1921.
This old Moorish house in the tropics was destroyed by two hurricanes, but what remains is beyond bizarre. Like some sort of wizard's museum, every wall features strange niches protected by antique iron grates, containing things like bottled ghosts, imprisoned gargoyles, hoodoo shrines, haunted radios, and crystal balls. Plus, one of the great secrets of alchemy is hidden in plain view.
