From Tired Radicals by Walter Weyl, 1921.

"I'm sick of death, and fears, and ghosts, and this house."  From Dark Shadows episode 58.

Today's squirrel riding a turtle is from The Australian Women's Weekly, 1965.

From The Moon To Play With by John Wiles, 1955.

Never ask a werewolf what he's thinking.  From Beyond Fantasy Fiction, 1954.

From Cunning Is Better Than Strong by Virginia Ormsby, 1960.

From Lighted Pathway, 1981.

"To the long, unhappy and miserable life that lies ahead for both of us."  From Dark Shadows episode 7.  For more bizarre toasts, see Of Drinking in Remembrance of the Dead.

We couldn't afford the $27,000 jukebox we wanted, so we built our own (Bigfoot-themed) out of recycled barn wood. It was a blast curating the playlist of Bigfoot songs.  Upon learning about the jukebox, acclaimed novelist and poet Gary Barwin offered some dance instruction:

"Let the gods bury their own dead--they make us take care of ours."

—the spectacular Latro in the Mist by Gene Wolfe

"I know, yes, it was dirty, but we can't go around burning all our dirty shirts."  From Dark Shadows episode 674.

Someone penciled "Jerry" and "Sharlinda" on their foreheads, gave Jerry a beard and both of them corrective lenses.  From Lighted Pathway, 1971.

From The Black Cat, 1919.

In parts one, two, three, and four, we saw how Dark Shadows beat Seifeld to be the first show about nothing.  Imagine the horror of a morgue with no bodies:

The top three Bigfoot lures.  Via UFO Newsclipping Service, 2006.

This is why we never bow to a snowman.  From the Duluth Evening Herald, 1908.