"Darrin, you keep asking and answering your own questions": a still from the unquestionably classic Bewitched.

Q: "Why should I not think the best of those who are kind to me?" (The Quiver, 1881).

A: "The problem with kindness, for Nabokov, is that most visible or public forms of it are fake" (Will Norman & Duncan White, Transitional Nabokov, 2009).

[We answered this rhetorical question a few years ago, but the vintage illustration is "new," courtesy of Punch, 1877.]

Q: How many beans make five?

A: It’s something of a trick question.  The answer is "one."  One leguminous pod contains five seeds.

Note that this riddle is a corruption of "How many beans make fava."  Again, the answer is "one," though admittedly it's one very broad bean.

Q: What need of Siege and Conquest in a Play, / When Love can do the work as well as they?  (Elkanah Settle, Ibrahim, the Illustrious Bassa [1676])

A: What need, indeed!

1. The clouds want to know what they are. (The Journal of the Anthropological Society of Bombay, 1928)
2. The clouds want to be your clothes. (Shidao Xu, Origins of Chinese Cuisine, 2003)
3. The clouds want more elaboration. (Horatio Noble Pym, Odds and Ends at Foxwold, 1887)
4. The clouds want to hide the sun. (Don Marion Wolfe, Language Arts and Life Patterns, 1972)
5. The clouds want to rain on the parade; they have intentionality. (Jonathan C. Smith, Pseudoscience and Extraordinary Claims of the Paranormal, 2011)
6. Clouds want to be fields. (Nichita Stanescu, Wheel with a Single Spoke: and Other Poems, 2012)
7. The clouds want to play. (Kevin R. Fish, Poetic Justice For Nature, 2004)
8. In general, clouds want a full baptism in the sea. (Gaius Glenn Atkins, The Godward Side of Life, 1917)
9. The clouds want to go somewhere. (David Hicks, Ritual and Belief: Readings in the Anthropology of Religion, 2010)
10. Clouds want to be platforms. (Curtis Franklin Jr., Cloud Computing: Technologies and Strategies of the Ubiquitous Data Center, 2009)
11. Fragments of clouds want to align. (Paul S. Ropp, Banished Immortal, 2002)
12. Clouds want to move things around, get a better view where noise comes from. (Devan Malore, The Churning, 2008)
13. Clouds want to blow in and drop rain. (Marianne Sawicki, Crossing Galilee, 2000)
14. Our clouds want to mingle and form an even bigger and better cloud. (Sol Gordon, How Can You Tell If You're Really In Love?, 2001)
15. Clouds want more moisture in order to remain supportive. (Ham Kaima, My Arrogant Friends, 1992)
16. The clouds want to be smoke circles blown over lips. (A. Van Jordan, Quantum Lyrics: Poems, 2007)
17. Hovering dark clouds want to flatten the city. (Chinese Idioms and Phrases, 1977)
18. The clouds want fire from the rocks. (Courtenay Malcolm Batchelor, Folklore, 1952)
19. All clouds want a talent. (Dow Kump, Scooter's Sparking Stone, 2005)

Q: Is this some cosmic joke?
A: It's real estate, for God's sake.
—The Deal, Vol. 5, p. 4 (2007)

Jeff Hawkins explores "preemptive rhetoric," in which rhetorical answers deny being asked.  It's a phenomenon we're all familiar with but probably didn't know the name of.  See the link for examples, and consider this freshly personal one:

[The context is that no one at dinner could recall the name of that well-respected character actor.  Hours later, Oddfellow makes a telephone call.]

[The caller picks up and Oddfellow exclaims.]

A: John Malkovich!
Q: Aren't you supposed to be asleep?

Preemptive rhetoric!  Thanks, Jeff!

After fully 27 years, a rhetorical question gets answered during the concert film A Diamond in the Mind.

Simon: [directing a lyric from the "The Reflex" to his keyboardist] "So why-y-y don't you use it?"
Nick: "I'm saving it for later."

"To answer your rhetorical question, 'Does it matter?': It most definitely does matter."
—U.S. News & World Report, Vol. 124 (1998), p. 13

[For Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.]

"Every now and then some people in your audience will try to answer your rhetorical question. If someone offers you an answer, you need to be able to handle the response."
—R. Mark Giuliano, Speak Easy (2005)

"[Harold] Bloom answers the rhetorical question, can we conceive of ourselves without Shakespeare? with a resounding no." —Dominic Pettman, Human Error (2011)

Q: Where do I begin?

A: The answer is right there in your kitchen. (Kelly Hancock, Saving Savvy, 2011)