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We encountered and determined the cause of a temporal anomaly in Chestnut Hill, Pennsylvania. The clock tower of the Chestnut Hill Baptist church (whose motto, ironically, is "a historic church with a timely message") displays faces with three incorrect times. As constant investigators of such phenomena, we diagnosed the source of the problem at a glance. An oculus window replaces the clock face on the fourth side of the tower and is the cause of the trouble. The architect presumably sought to save a quarter of the cost of clockwork, and while three-quarter time may keep waltzes spinning, such an imbalance in a clock tower is its own death knell. Though the cause is simple enough, great mysteries yet abound, for precisely why does a window into the nature of time trigger a standstill?
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