We encountered and determined the cause of a temporal anomaly in Frostproof, Florida. The Citizens Bank clock displays four faces with three different times. As constant investigators of such phenomena, we diagnosed the source of the problem at a glance. Painted on one side of the building is a trompe l'oeil door, recalling Egyptian tombs' false doors to the afterlife (doors "as permeable as fog," in chambers "where nothing purports to be real, where everything stands for something else. ... Even in this timeless scene, change is visible"*). Indeed, the false door has manifested timelessness through the visible adjustments of the clock faces. Though the cause is simple enough, great mysteries yet abound, for whose souls have passed through the false door or received offerings through it?