Which is funnier: eighty grand or a cigar?

Clue:  This is according to Always Tip the Dealer by Gary Ross

Answer:  eighty grand.  “Eighty grand looks funnier than a cigar.  A lot funnier.  People laugh.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Gary Ross, Always Tip the Dealer (1982), p. 145.

In honor of funsmith Bernie DeKoven.

 

"Some one ought to write a book on the Strength of the Weaklings."
—Leighton Parts, qtd. in The American Church Monthly, Vol. 8, 1920, p. 250.

Even the dust bunnies
are made of days and days.
—William Keckler

"To glack one's mitten" is to put money into someone's hand, as a gift or as a bribe (John Jamieson, An Etymological Dictionary of the Scottish Language, Vol. 2).

"Doing the laundry was not exactly in the same league as rocket science."
—Frank Larson, Baloney on Wry

 

 

What is funnier than a fellow going off with the wrong hat at a restaurant?

Clue:  This is according to The Living Age magazine, 1901.

Answer:  Almost anything.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  The Living Age, Vol. 230 (1901), p. 716.

This puzzle grid contains several big words. Can you find them?

• 7-letter words: 13
• 8-letter words: 2

All letters in the word must touch (in any direction), and no square may be reused.

Click to display solutions

I found "clonings" as my first word and that was enough of an achievement to earn me three hours of bad television. Or so I rationalized. If cloning is not there, don't tell me. I didn't click on the answers. As soon as I saw I-N-G-S I knew the God of the Grid wouldn't be so cruel as to give us that convenient coda without providing at least one word to pin it to.

Are gabions the elemental particles of insubstantial talk?

Good call, Nada!

"We don't approach cooking in the same way as rocket science."
—Meta B. Doherty, Sattwa Cafe

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"that we do not go to pieces internally." —Learned Hand, The Spirit of Liberty, 1959

SONG: Dime
ARTIST: Cake

ORIGINAL LYRIC:

I'm a dime
I'm fine
And I shine, I'm freshly minted

ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION:

I'm a quarter
I oughta
Be hotter than a yachter

Cake's lyrics are the bestest. I like your update. I thought it was so hokey when Chris Meloni as Detective Whoever on Law & Order SVU was waiting by a payphone saying, "Come on...drop a dime on us" about some criminal whose call they were expecting. First, nobody says that anymore. Because it hasn't been a dime in ages. Next, it means to rat somebody out, and they were waiting for a call from a serial killer leaving clues, i.e. he was not ratting on anyone. And lastly, the show just sucked. It sucked donkey dong the way the Dutch language sucks vowels. Chris Meloni is now trapped in the universe of Being Chris Meloni. This happens to so many actors. It should have a name and a diagnosis that ends in "Syndrome."

Prof. Oddfellow responds:

Yes, so many actors get trapped in the universe of Being [Said Actor] that there should indeed be a name and diagnosis that ends in "Syndrome."  May I suggest that the word "Depp" be incorporated into the name?