"There's nothing beautiful and excellent left.  You must dream up beauty and goodness and justice.  Tell me, do you know how to dream?"  —Robert Walser, Jakob von Gunten

 

• juggernaut
• thunderdome
• transhuman
• electrolyte
• halcyon
• bourgeoise
• tarmac
• mundane
• odyssey
• expressway
• cobblestones
• favela
• consecrating
• galvanized
• supersonic
• masquerade
• Martian invasion
• testosterone
• supernova
• boogaloo
• Himalayas

Which is funnier: Pop Art or theatre of the absurd?

Clue:  This is according to theatre expert George Riley Kernodle

Answer:  theatre of the absurd  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  George Riley Kernodle, Invitation to the Theatre (1971), p. 312.

From the inimitable Tom Weller, author of the classic Science Made Stupid, comes this "minim" (the perfect answer to the maxim):

Certainty #54:

"The only certainty is that there will be pain; how much, which joints will be affected and how mobile they will be is never known in advance."
—David Locker, Disability and Disadvantage, 1983

 

"Something great and audacious must happen in secrecy and silence, or it perishes and falls away, and the fire that was awakened dies again."  —Robert Walser, Jakob von Gunten

"Someone ought to write a book about the way the wives of presidents used to operate.  There has been a change.  The whole society has changed."
—George Garner Harvill, In Her Own Words, 1990, p. 108.

"People who get bored are ones who always reckon that something amusing ought to come at them from outside."  —Robert Walser, Jakob von Gunten

What field is funnier than statistics?

Clue:  This is according to Scribner’s Magazine

Answer:  Nothing.  “Nothing is funnier than statistics when studied from the proper angle.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  William Lyon Phelps, Scribner’s Magazine, Vol. 74 (1923), p. 755.

 

Certainty #53:

"The only certainty that remains then is thought itself."
—Bert Roebben, Practical Theology and the Interpretation of Crossing Boundaries, 2003

"If one thinks, one resists, and that is always so ugly and ruinous to things.  Thinkers, if only they knew what harm they do.  Anyone who industriously does not think, does something, he certainly does, and that is more necessary."  —Robert Walser, Jakob von Gunten

 

"There ought to be a book published on the subject, 'First Steps to Getting Even with your Servants.'"
—Leonard Merrick, The House of Lynch, 1919, p. 150.

What accent is funnier than Yiddish?

Clue:  This is according to a Jewish women’s anthology

Answer:  Nothing  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Irena Klepfisz, “Secular Jewish Identity,” The Tribe of Dina (1989), p. 42.

 

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Certainty #52:

"The only certainty, the only 'truth,' is fear."
—Catherine S. Cox, Gender and Language in Chaucer, 1997

 

"There is more hidden life in opening a door than in asking a question."  —Robert Walser, Jakob von Gunten

It's windy today, and we saw a crow valiantly flying against the current, making no headway.  From our less-windy vantage on the wooded cliff side, we were tempted to tell the crow to take the forest route, but then we remembered that you can't tell a crow how to fly from point A to point B.

Which is funnier: comic writer P.G. Wodehouse or the story of how World War II came about?

Clue:  This is according to a political scientist

Answer:  World War II.  “The inside story is funnier than Wodehouse.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Curt Riess, They Were There: The Story of World War II and How it All Came About (1971), p. 286.

 

"Come on!  One must go out and meet the inevitable, bravely."  —Robert Walser, Jakob von Gunten

"There ought to be a book on badeboop badebeep."
—Steven George Krantz, Mathematical Publishing, 2005, p. 98.

Enriqve Enriqvez turns every U into a V on his blog. Here's why: "Like the stvdent who devovrs covntless books on the tarot and still feels thirsty, the letter U has a blvnt edge.  No matter how mvch information it holds, it is never ready to povr that knowledge back into the world."

Certainty #51:

"The only certainty is that you must fail."
—Stephen Gresham, The Fraternity, 2004

 

Which is funnier: small wheels or big wheels?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  Small wheels.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

"Go on yearning for a bit longer.  You've no idea what bliss, what grandeur there is in yearning, in waiting.  So wait."  —Robert Walser, Jakob von Gunten

The Mounties' Falkland: Three members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police holiday off the coast of Argentina and compete to obtain a fabulous jewel-encrusted statuette, even if it means conquering an entire island.

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Gary Barwin writes:

 

How do we know anything? How do we know the wall we’re looking at is white? What is white?

—Don DeLillo, Cosmopolis, 2003.

"Somebody really ought to write a book about the funny conversations of drunks."
—Robert Joseph Casey, The Black Hills and Their Incredible Characters, 1949, p. 42.

"The poem is not the sum of the impressions, as a heap of diamond dust is the sum of its shining particles; nor is the poet merely a sensitized medium for their reception and transmission.  Beneath the poem lie also innumerable blendings and fusings of impressions, brought about below the level of conscious mental processes."
—John Livingston Lowes, The Road to Xanadu, 1927

Certainty #50:

"The only certainty is that climate will change again one day."
—Peter Haggett, Geography, 2001

 

Gary Barwin has spotted three varieties of elusive conjoined ampersands.  Here's our favorite:

The sign on the Spiritualist's door read: "Please tap loudly or ring a bell."

"I know it, somewhere here there are marvelous things." —Robert Walser, Jakob von Gunten