Here's an alternative to "I do": "I forgot my condiment can."  From the "C" Battery Book, 306th F. A., 77th Div., 1917-1919.  Speaking of weddings, see our Collected Lost Meanings of Wedlock.  Why lost meanings? The definition of “marriage” has become hotly debated of late, to the point that the word has become “increasingly unmentionable” (Catholic Herald) or even “has no meaning at all” (Family Policy Institute). It’s been said that only through loss can there be gain, that only through loss can we truly grow and understand what is at stake, that only through loss can that which is beautiful be found. As the poet Joseph August has noted, “Only through loss can we glimpse the deepest meanings, / hints and flashes whispered from below / elucted as from underwater, deep.” The collected lost meanings of wedlock might surprise even those who would otherwise be considered well-informed.  It's the perfect gift for one’s betrothed, or for a wedding planner, or for anyone contemplating matrimony.

INSTRUCTIONS: Click to repaint the The legend of the Devil's Tower.

"There you have the ghost of Illinois' future" (Emily Walker, Bird Ephemera, 2011).  Our photo is courtesy of the Costică Acsinte archive.

From Our Young Folks, 1868.

From The Travels and Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen, illustrated by Alfred Crowquill, 1860.

Here's the patron saint of mawkish sentimentality, from Boletín Oficial de la República Argentina, 1907.

From The History of the Devil and the Idea of Evil by Paul Carus, 1899.

"It was the skeleton!"  From The Skeleton Horseman or the Shadow of Death, 1866.

Here's an inverted ampersand from 1908.

"Won't someone press the shutter for me?"  (This demonic camera can't take its own pictures, luckily.)  From Hyakujuu Sentai Gaoranger.

"Always remember, Mouseketeers, that the most important things are the little deeds of kindness, the little words of love." —Judith Moffett, Two That Came True, 2015

"Machine in action," from , 1903.

The tortoise and the hare get all the press, but unlikely races occur at every level of wildlife, including grasshoppers and inchworms.  From Among the Meadow People by Clara Dillingham Pierson and illustrated by Frederick Charles Gordon, 1897.