"The answer is simple. 'Do not be anxious about anything.'”

—Ajith Fernando, An Authentic Servant (2012)

1. Your wish is that I wish what you secretly wish.
2. Within a two-hour period, you have eaten an amount of food that most people would consider excessive.
3. You've ruled out the possibility that you're being overly suspicious.
4. You know who she is and she knows what she is.
5. That time you said you loved the chocolate cake, you threw up a little in your mouth.
6. The fact that you tend to stay up through the hours of darkness has nothing to do with a craving for blood.
7. When you lie you break out in a rash.
8. You pray to be forgiven for doing that thing with the thing.
9. There's just no explaining that whatchamacallit.
10. You secretly dream of waking up as a Canadian.
11. Maybe it's time to stop not doing what you pretended you can do and can't, and start doing the thing that you can't do but can no longer pretend that you can.
12. Your secret desire is my deepest fear.
13. You can't listen to very much Wagner because you start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
14. You're so busy with work that you don't have time to "give back to society.”
15. You have neither the money nor the know-how to get that thingamajig out of your head.
16. You've ruled out deranged psychopathy and decided it sounds like fun.
17. Nobody knows what you carry about with you in your pocket.
18. No one will ever suspect that you have the whatsit in your possession.
19. Your secret desire is to bust out that straw-cowboy-hat-and-flip-flops look without looking out of place.
20. You have drunk champagne out of the slipper of a dancing girl.
21. You want to live better than you do now and work fewer hours.
22. You did not mean what you said that day we parted.
23. You have a playroom all to yourself.
24. You want to found a new religion.
25. Though talkative and often high-strung, your secret desire is to be with someone to whom you don't have to say a word, someone whose eyes are hypnotic and whose arms are soothing and strong.
26. You secretly dream of being in front of the camera.