From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Is it true, as Momus suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"?  Decide for yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . .

THE RAZOR'S EDGE by W. Somerset Maugham

I have never begun a novel with more misgiving.  Suddenly, a shot rings out.

[Thanks to June for the suggestion!]

 

Which is funnier: comic actor W.C. Fields or the idea of W.C. Fields?

Clue:  This is according to journalist Wilfrid Sheed.

Answer:  the idea.  “I have always felt that the idea of Fields is funnier than Fields himself; that even the face and voice he has taught us to remember are not quite the real Fields.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Wilfrid Sheed, The Good Word and Other Words (1978), p. 191.

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

FULL (FUTURE)

"The craters of the moon. Semicolon."

—W. W. Pasko, American Dictionary of Printing and Bookmaking (1894)

 

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Is it true, as Momus suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"?  Decide for yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . .

THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY by Oscar Wilde

The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.  Suddenly, a shot rang out.

Happily ever after is so once upon a time.

(via Frog Blog)

Our artsy friend Rana Adams surprised us today with the ultimate in minimalism: bare bookshelves save for our Dictionary of One-Letter Words.

“What kind of fish sings an opera?”  Which punch line is funnier: “halibut,” “mackeral,” or the real answer.

Clue:  This is from Neil Simon’s Broadway Bound

Answer:  Halibut.  “I guarantee you that a halibut is funnier than the real answer.  I mean, look at him.  Sitting there with a hat on.  If he put it on to be funny, it would be dumb.  But he doesn’t know he’s got it on, so it’s hysterical.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Neil Simon, Broadway Bound (1987), p. 10.

Ironically, most people shout "Eureka" when they're not in Kansas anymore.

Is it true, as Momus suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"?  Decide for yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . .

RELATIVITY by Albert Einstein

In your schooldays most of you who read this book made acquaintance with the noble building of Euclid's geometry, and you remember—perhaps with more respect than love—the magnificent structure, on the lofty staircase of which you were chased about for uncounted hours by conscientious teachers.  Suddenly, a shot rang out.