We have discovered a non-surgical, instant way to be your own cat. We call it,
How to Be Your Own Cat. There are 25 chapters with the steps involved, but results begin immediately. Literary humorist
Jonathan Caws-Elwitt blurbs, "It’s commonly known that you can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. It’s even well established that you can be your own grandpa. But it takes a Professor Oddfellow to teach you
How to Be Your Own Cat—and isn’t it about time?"
Martha Brockenbrough, author of
The Game of Love and Death, notes: "I am also curious about how to be Schrödinger's cat." There actually is much to say about being Schrödinger's cat! We would begin by installing slatted blinds in the windows, because when light goes through a slit it's both a particle and a wave (plus, that's how the Cheshire cat got separated from its grin). We'd get an "
I am not a doormat" doormat so as to foster uncertainty. We would collect nesting boxes. We would always leave some mail in the mailbox and a newspaper in the driveway so as to suggest the possibility of not being home. We would play music by the dance band
M-Theory and spin to it. We would study ways to entangle strings (putting the macramé into M-theory). We would adopt the pat answer of agnosticism, "I don't know." We would collect (infinite) monkey memorabilia. Then we'd sleep like the dead.
Of course, before you can become
Schrödinger's cat in particular, you must transform into a cat in general. Hence, How to Be Your Own Cat.
