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 Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS by Dr. Seuss Every Who Down in Who-ville Liked Christmas a lot. Suddenly a shot rang out.
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Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . THE AWAKENING by Kate Chopin A green and yellow parrot, which hung in a cage outside the door, kept repeating over and over: "Suddenly, a shot rang out."
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FULLThe semicolon's illuminated side is facing the reader. The semicolon appears to be completely illuminated by the reading lamp. The lighted side of the semicolon faces the reader, still and proud, like a young goddess. This means that the reader, reading lamp, and semicolon are nearly in a straight line, with the reader in the middle. The semicolon that we see is very bright from the reading lamp reflecting off it.
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From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:
The four chambers of the star are similar to the four quadrants of life, but they surround a degenerate helium core. (Inspired by Gary Barwin.)
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Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Mindful Greetings and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle. |
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Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . A TALE OF TWO CITIES by Charles DickensIt was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—suddenly, a shot rang out.
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| Puzzles and Games :: Which is Funnier |
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 Which are funnier: monkeys or husbands?
Clue: This is according to a lawyer
Answer: Husbands (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
Citation: Ralph Bushnell Potts, Come Now the Lawyers (1972), p. 174
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| Last Dustbunny in the Netherlands |
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Some Dust Bunnies Shrugged Their
Shoulders at Me Today
I wasn't even aware dust bunnies had shoulders.
Now I know.
But I should think they could find better use for them than sarcastic
shrugging.
But then...have you ever met an unlackadaisical dust bunny?
— William Keckler
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From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:
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Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Mindful Greetings and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle. |
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Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . DADDY-LONG-LEGS by Jean Webster The first Wednesday in every month was a Perfectly Awful Day—a day to be awaited with dread, endured with courage and forgotten with haste. Suddenly, a shot rang out.
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| The Ghost in the [Scanning] Machine |
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~ Headlessness ~ 
Portrait from A Memoir of Jacques Cartier.
"Uncertain whether a ghostly hand might not presently draw aside the curtain.” —Leith Adams --- Antipater of Cydonia writes: This suggests the Scanner Model of reality. That reality is a matter of faithful reproduction. Of what? I don't know. Most savvy people consider recreation a misnomer. Or a parlor trick. A museum. A diorama. A dilemmarama. That a copy of a copy of a copy gets less real. That's the Faith. That's the cherished human notion. Because of the lost substrate. But the other argument is that the copy of the copy of the copy is every bit as real as the original (arch-ecriture whatevah). It's memory which is fouling reality. Memory the copier. Memory the bad copyist. The logical conclusion would seem to be that reality has nothing whatsoever to do with memory. Uh oh.
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 “One must be careful when an offshore breeze is blowing or your ship will come off the quay very quickly.” —Ships Monthly
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| Puzzles and Games :: Which is Funnier |
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True of False: Hash is funnier than croquette.
Clue: This is according to the book The Sense of Humor.
Answer: True. “Hash is immensely humorous, but a croquette is not. Yet, what is a croquette but hash that has come to a head?” (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
Citation: Max Eastman, The Sense of Humor (1921), p. 150.
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FULL (PROGRESSIVE)"Semicolon, or semi-lunar in shape." —Thomas Wright Moir Cameron, The Parasites of Man in Temperate Climates (1960)
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Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . METAMORPHOSIS by Franz KafkaOne morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin. He lay on his armour-like back, and if he lifted his head a little he could see his brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff sections. The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready to slide off any moment. His many legs, pitifully thin compared with the size of the rest of him, waved about helplessly as he looked. Suddenly, a shot rang out.
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Turtles or Hurdles?In each sentence, guess whether the blank traverses a "turtle" or a "hurdle."1. "What a sight [those slow, lumbering snails] had been! Something like a slow ___." — Patricia Highsmith, Eleven, 1989, p. 772. 2. "Interestingly, the animals would occasionally leap over the ___." —Christopher Peterson, et al., Learned Helplessness, 1995, p. 193. 3. "He jumped over the ___. Then he turned and ran across the roof as fast as he could." —Paul Andrew Witty, Reading for Interest, 1955, p .114 Answer: 1. hurdle, 2. hurdle, 3. turtle (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.) (This puzzle is inspired by and dedicated to Jonathan-Caws Elwitt.)
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From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:
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Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Mindful Greetings and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle. |
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I want to contract the word "don't" by leaving the appostrophe out. Do I have to put it back in in order to take it out?
Here's our solution:
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Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . .
THE RAZOR'S EDGE by W. Somerset Maugham
I have never begun a novel with more misgiving. Suddenly, a shot rings out.
[Thanks to June for the suggestion!]
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| Puzzles and Games :: Which is Funnier |
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Which is funnier: comic actor W.C. Fields or the idea of W.C. Fields?
Clue: This is according to journalist Wilfrid Sheed.
Answer: the idea. “I have always felt that the idea of Fields is funnier than Fields himself; that even the face and voice he has taught us to remember are not quite the real Fields.” (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
Citation: Wilfrid Sheed, The Good Word and Other Words (1978), p. 191.
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From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:
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Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Mindful Greetings and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle. |
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FULL (FUTURE)"The craters of the moon. Semicolon." —W. W. Pasko, American Dictionary of Printing and Bookmaking (1894)
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From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:
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Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Mindful Greetings and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle. |
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Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY by Oscar WildeThe studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn. Suddenly, a shot rang out.
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Happily ever after is so once upon a time.
(via Frog Blog)
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INSTRUCTIONS: Click on the puzzle image below to reveal one possible solution.
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| Puzzles and Games :: Which is Funnier |
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“What kind of fish sings an opera?” Which punch line is funnier: “halibut,” “mackeral,” or the real answer.
Clue: This is from Neil Simon’s Broadway Bound
Answer: Halibut. “I guarantee you that a halibut is funnier than the real answer. I mean, look at him. Sitting there with a hat on. If he put it on to be funny, it would be dumb. But he doesn’t know he’s got it on, so it’s hysterical.” (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
Citation: Neil Simon, Broadway Bound (1987), p. 10.
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From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:
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Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Mindful Greetings and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle. |
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Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . RELATIVITY by Albert EinsteinIn your schooldays most of you who read this book made acquaintance with the noble building of Euclid's geometry, and you remember—perhaps with more respect than love—the magnificent structure, on the lofty staircase of which you were chased about for uncounted hours by conscientious teachers. Suddenly, a shot rang out.
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From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:
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“No one can guarantee that your ship will come in, but it can certainly help to have the guidance of an experienced crew.” —Mainstay Funds
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WAXING GIBBOUS (PRESENT PERFECT)"The phases, the semicolon." —Byung Chan Eu, Generalized Thermodynamics (2002)
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| Puzzles and Games :: Which is Funnier |
(permalink) |
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True or False: Arkansas is funnier than New York
Clue: This is according to a book about Arkansas.
Answer: False. “I certainly don’t see anything about Arkansas that is funnier than New York or Iowa or Indiana, and nothing even approaching Southern California.” (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
Citation: Clyde Brion Davis, The Arkansas (1940), p. 299.
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Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . THE ART OF WAR by Sun Tzu The art of war is of vital importance to the State. Suddenly, a shot rang out.
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| Puzzles and Games :: Which is Funnier |
(permalink) |
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 Which is funnier: the number 042 or the number 359?
Clue: This is according to Douglas Adams.
Answer: The number 359. "Incidentally, Douglas' aside that 359 is the funniest three-digit number turns out to be an example of his fixation with telephone numbers, which crop up frequently in the Hitchkhiker's Guide saga: 359 was the dialling code for his home in Islington.” (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
Citation: M.J. Simpson, Hitchhiker: A Biography of Douglas Adams (2003), p. xix.
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| Puzzles and Games :: Which is Funnier |
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Which is funnier: a cluck or a quack?Clue: This is according to cartoonist Matthew Diffee Answer: A quack. Diffee also notes that "waddle" sounds as silly as it looks. (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.) Citation: Mark Caro, The Foie Gras Wars (2009), p. 164
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Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS by Kenneth GrahameThe Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home. Suddenly, a shot rang out.
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| The Ghost in the [Scanning] Machine |
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“Your boat shall be down early on Sunday morning next.” —James Clifton
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Original Content Copyright © 2025 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.
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