CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
No single balloon can necessarily make one feel any sort of way, but finding exactly the right number of balloons makes all the difference. One always knows the very moment the right number of balloons has been achieved. From Indiana University's 1974 yearbook.
We checked, and it turns out to be true -- happiness is, indeed, an overhead projector, and as this technology becomes increasingly obsolete, sadness spreads across the globe. From Wake Forest's 1975 yearbook.
"Good is stronger than Evil, if you take it on its simplest terms and set yourself to forget the horror! It's mad to refuse to be happy because there's a poison in the world that bites into every nerve. After all, it's short enough! I know very well that Chance could set me screaming like a wounded baboon — every jot of philosophy gone! Well, until that happens, I must endure what I have to endure!" —John Cowyer Powys, Wolf Solent