The completed Tic-Tac-Toe grid on this book cover communicates a poem when the X's and O's are read as one-letter words. 

Using our "X-O-Skeleton Story Generator," we can read the grid as: "Choosing gladness, reassurance; capturing pains incorrect; eye magnifying the sun."

The book cover is from Invent Your Own Computer Games by Fred D'Ignazio.

Something tells me this one won't be a page turner.  Slow Reading by John Miedema.

Here's what it looks like when your book title is so long that the byline is a parenthetical afterthought.  It's rare to see "wasp-wacking" in a book title, too.  It's the out-of-print King Kid Was Fed Up.  King Kid Was Cross.  King Kid Was Fish-Spitting Mad.  Having To Have a Bath Was Bad Enough, Especially When You Are King, but Having To Wait Was Just Too Wasp-Wacking, Door-Slamming Much.  And Why Was He Mad?  The 5 O'Clock Tour of the Palace Was Still In the Bathroom (by Rozelle Bentheim).

From A Pleasure to Burn: Fahrenheit 451 Stories by Ray Bradbury.  Here's a precursor to this newspaper suit, plus an older one and a yet older one.

Not only is Future Preconditional an extremely rare phrase and wonderful name for a book, but this volume comes in its own paper bag!  By Douglas Woolf.

With all the book covers that force us to read between the lines (see exhibits 1-4), we can't read exhibit 5's mind because the title looks like it ought to scan as, "Can't Read Mind Why You My."

It wasn't merely a prop in that old Bewitched episode in which Darrin had to be fluent in Spanish within five minutes.  It's actually a book: Fluency in 5 Minutes.

Here's a recipe book written by someone whose name appropriately sounds like fireplace grates for heating pans.  One Hundred and Sixty Culinary Dainties for the Epicure, the Invalid and the Dyspeptic by Samuel Hobbs, 1885.  See Nostradamus Predicted Your Next Diet.

Mystic Spirit Voice of the Hindoo "Senam," Mysterious, Fascinating, by James Qallan Dixon, 1916.

From Satan, His Origin, Work, and Destiny by Carlyle B. Haynes, 1920.  Speaking of which, what exactly are a snowball's chances in hell?  See A Snowball's Chance in Hell.

Six Rehearsal-less Entertainments by Alice Louise Williams Chaplin, 1921.

Light in Darkness by Sarah Robinson, 1876.

Thanks to Steven Svymbersky, who praised our non-surgical method for How to Be Your Own Cat as "a scientific breakthrough."  Prove it to your own satisfaction, at Quimby's Bookstore in Brooklyn or at Amazon.

The Hour of Death and the Invisible World by H. O. F., 1882.

Ghosts: A Message From the Illuminati, 1906.

Gypsy Witch Fortune Teller, Gathered from Authentic Sources by the Queen of the Romanies, 1916.

Trilby, The Fairy of Argyle by Charles Nodier, 1895.

Signs, Omens and Superstitions by Astra Cielo, 1918.

Pinkie and the Fairies by Walford Graham Robertson, 1909, with additional fairy twinkles punched by Indiana University.

Great title: Painted Shadows by Richard Le Gallienne, 1904.