The 7 Stages of Vacation Preparedness
by Ellen Miz Ellen
Stage 1: From the end of the last vacation to 6 months:
It’s over. You grieve but come to terms with it, and go back to work.
Stage 2:
6 months to 2 months prior:
A faint hope dawns. Pleasant memories resurface and go back to sleep.
Stage 3:
2 months to 1 month prior:
Practical arrangements are considered.
Stage 4:
1 month to 1 week prior:
Anticipation builds. Practical arrangements are made. Packing is mentally organized. Lists are made. This time, one will not leave town in a hideous last-minute scramble.
Stage 5:
1 week to 1 day prior:
Laundry, work and loss of lists interfere with orderly preparation. Anticipation turns to despair, rage and exasperation. Practical arrangements frequently become unstuck at this point.
Stage 6:
The night before:
Washing machine breaks, dishwasher explodes and coyotes trash garbage bin.
Stage 7: The morning of:
Stuff dirty clothes hamper into truck of car, set timer on detonator to dynamite under house to explode in 50 minutes and drive off. Return 45 minutes later to retrieve toothbrush. Forget to turn detonator back on.
Vacation!
Return to find house still standing. Cancel insurance claim. Resume Stage 1.
