Yeah, Rick had better be watching closely, because Gilligan always manages to screw things up.  (See our bizarre 19-minute documentary entitled Marooned Gray Areas of Identity on Gilligan's Island.)

From Mount Olive's 1968 yearbook.

You've heard about avian migratory flight patterns, but apparently it was all a big misunderstanding, perhaps because some bird calls sound like "Mi-am-i."  From The Gateway, 1979.

Here's a precursor to the artist formerly known as Prince, complete with ambiguous symbol.  From Woroni, 1968.

Rhubarb Vaselino enters the arena of the ridiculous.  From The Film Daily, 1922.

From Ye Sundial Booke by T. Geoffrey Henslow, 1914.

The colors of a palette hat can easily be coordinated with one's outfit.  From Le Charivari, 1887.

"Oh when darkness comes."  From Judson's 1970 yearbook.

Here's something nice about tomorrow.  From The Link, 1974.

From Ohio College of Dental Surgery's 1903 yearbook.

Our custom widget that checks for duplicated images suggested this unlikely pairing.  Click each image for its source.

Smile.  From American University's 1971 yearbook.

Riding an "iron horse" like a bronco -- it's surprisingly rarely depicted.  From Hampden-Sydney's 1917 yearbook.

You can do this at home, too -- pull out a few books on criticism and stick your head in, facing the wall.  Or, um, so I've heard.  From Eastern Nazarene's 1976 yearbook.

From Astrology by Ronald C. Davison.

Clever: you can fill in all the rude words that occur to you, and you'll still complete the crossword correctly.  From Woroni, 1969.

"Hypnotism.  Its menace, its mystery, its potential malignance stripped of all illusion and shown for just what it is--a monster of the human will."  From Wid's Daily, 1920.

Moon goddess Hera.  From Wesleyan College's 1934 yearbook.

From Lebanon Valley's 1970 yearbook.

"In the wilds of fiery climes he made himself a home, and his soul drank their sunbeams."  From Manual and Diagrams to Accompany Metcalf's Grammars, 1901.

"I am progress through experience."  From Amazing Stories, 1948.

Today's sword-wielding skeleton riding on an untamed goat past winged Death is from (where else?) the Ohio College of Dental Surgery's 1903 yearbook.

Memories of college.  From Elon's 1978 yearbook.

"It's only the beginning."  From Santa Clara's 1970 yearbook.

From the Clarke College Scrapbook of the 60s, 70, and 80s.

Memories of college.  From William and Mary's 1951 yearbook.

Our custom widget that checks for duplicated images suggested this unlikely pairing.  Click each image for its source.

It's so true -- there's nothing like cotton candy.  From Eastern Nazarene's 1976 yearbook.

You might have assumed the 1980s breezed in like a neon-lit flock of seagulls on a koosh ball with shoulder pads and parachute pants, but it wasn't as smooth as all that.  No, not at all.  "Crunch, clank, clank — here comes the eighties!"  From The Gateway, 1977.

What was homecoming like where you went to school?  From Rockford College's 1962 yearbook.

From Wake Forest's 1980 yearbook.

"Caught you!  Looking for clues again."  From The Gateway, 1978.

From Unknown, 1942.

From Ye Sundial Booke by T. Geoffrey Henslow, 1914.

From Mr. Pinkerton Finds a Body, by David Frome:

***

He twisted an imaginary hat round and round in his hands.

***

[Precursing the Pleasure Dial "Candied"/"Candid" Business dept.]

"There's a tea shop called The Candied Friend."

***

Mr. Pinkerton watched his beaming countenance undergo a gradual change that reminded him of the Cheshire Cat, except that with Mr. Kewly-Smith the smile faded and left a face.

***

It had got him out of breath just to listen to her.

***

"That's the way Lucy meets all problems--by having them to dinner."

***

[I fear I may have been neglecting an "Anthropomorphized Bells" department that was asking to be acknowledged.* Oh well, better late than never!]

[*Anthropomorphized Departments department]

A distant bell sounded, then another. In a moment the night was filled with them, hurrying high in the pelting rain. A deep sombre note [the largest bell in the area] dropped in among them, and sent them scattering like sparrows at a pool.

"May 29."  From the University of Illinois' 1911 yearbook.

An old postcard gifted to me by friends in Wales.  Undated.

"Underneath, the feeling that it will soon be over."  From Presbyterian College's 1969 yearbook.

The scan is rough, but he's falling through a nightmarish sea of mathematical monsters.  Zoom in to see the horrific symbols.  From Startling Stories, 1948.

Though it looks for all the world like early computer graphics, this dates back to 1936.  From Peace Junior College's 1936 yearbook.

"I wish something that rhymes with boat would strike me."  From Otterbein's 1911 yearbook.

A real upset stomach, apparently.  From Rockingham Community College's 1976 yearbook.

Great news!  "There's still time to withdraw."  From Woroni, 1975.

We use measuring tape as a bookmark so that we're always ready for big words.  From The Film Daily, 1937.  See Webster's Dictionary of Improbable Words: All-Consonant and All-Vowel Words.

Well, in all fairness, somebody probably ought to pay, and it turns out it's those pesky meditators, always with their eyes either closed or open.  From The Martlet, 1976.

Rain always looks like this to those with slow metabolisms.  Also note that he has a cat's eye.  Cats can slow time, which is how they're able to catch mice at seeming lightning speed from the observer's perspective.  From American's 1985 yearbook.

Rainbows do strike those wide stances obviously meant to look impressive.  It's a pretty big problem.  From The Gateway, 1979.

Two quick things. 

1. Proof that advertising works?  The figure from American's 1985 yearbook (pictured top) seems to be emulating the newspaper ad (pictured bottom).  However, he didn't get the brand with "tips," perhaps worried that, contrary to the promises, even putting just "the tip" into your mouth may trigger questions about one's sexual orientation.

2. Note the bizarre ad copy: "Paused.  Reflected.  Then paused again.  And reflected again.  Then paused.  Then reflected.  Paused once more."  For people who need to inhale expensive smoke in order for their consciousness to blink in and out?  (Sad.)  The story of the ad (spoiler) is that it took him that long to look at his test scores and see that he passed.  We'd say he had already scored when he put the tip in his mouth.  But that's between him and his psychiatrist and is technically none of our business. 

[By the way, Mr. Copy Writer, we noticed the "Graham Watt" wordplay.  How many grams of nicotine are lit up like units of watt power?  Not bad.]

One encounters so few haunted bookstores anymore (at least ones that advertise their hauntedness).  Our favorite haunted bookstore, in Louisiana (a derelict building now, shown here), allowed patrons to take any haunted book away for every two haunted books they brought in.  Just imagine — books so accursed, so jinxed, that the proprietor was willing to receive two haunted books of unknown provenance just to rid himself of one.  Perhaps his unnaturally possessed stock, by the fine print of some diabolical bargain, could only be voluntarily taken and not sold.  Perhaps that's why that haunted bookstore allowed trades.  From The Martlet, 1976.

From Film Daily, 1935.

He nearly bumped me off my private cloud!"  From Wid's Daily, 1920.

"Double trinity."  From The Grotesque in Church Art by T. Tindall Wildridge, 1899.

INSTRUCTIONS: Click to "Say Cheese." From Concordia's 1977 yearbook.

The sign says, "Flight insurance for this elevator on sale in the lobby."  With insurance costs what they are nowadays, if the elevator just keeps on going, one has no recourse.  From Presbyterian College's 1969 yearbook.

Insect decor to get dancers' feet hopping.  From Le Charivari, 1880.

A dead joke got honored with an entire page in Rockford's 1917 yearbook.

Beauty and the Beast.  From Europa's Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacobs and illustrated by John Batten, 1916. 

Reblog if mannequins oversee your studies and/or you dress up to read.  From Eastern Kentucky's 1971 yearbook.

From Lasell's 1960 yearbook.

"The worst is yet to come."  From Woroni, 1987.

You noticed that words don't seem to mean anything anymore, and you've wondered whether some things might be better in Canada ... but these headlines from 1970s Canada offer no comfort: shooters use blades, the moon's a balloon, purse-snatchers want wallets, and funkly fiddlers are jazzy.  We give up.