• where to place everything
  
• whether to do this in orbit or on the ground
• which is the lesser evil
• between the arduous and the incoherent
• which shredder to use
• whether to release the tie-backs and let the curtains hide you
• to launch or to forego the mission
• whether or not to play
• to believe or not to believe that the apparatus and its operator are trustworthy
• between down and up
• whether or not the drug should be used at all
• when to reschedule
• between the second and third options
• where to start
• to determine how private the conversation is
• how to present it
• whether to cross the room and take a handful
• between cooperation and aloofness
• whether to report zero or one
• to strange or smother
• choosing between all-chocolate and all-vanilla
• whether to send an individual or a committee
• do you squeeze or pour?
• whether to accept or reject suggested numbers
• which bad guy to take out next
• whether or not to add water
• to leave frustrated or attack
• whether you want to live or not
• which door to enter
• whether there is anything to be gained
• one of signal direction
• whether we are at inflow or outflow point
• the right decision

• around in circles
  
• the next scary and uncomfortable place that fits who we’ve become
  
• within
  
• Mars
  
• up the wall
  
• a saloon
  
• outer space, with beep-beep robots and people covered in long fur
  
• back to Texas
  
• the cliff
  
• a sanitarium
  
• around the bend
  
• back to the alcohol or drugs
  
• abroad
  
• down to the floor
  
• back to some less exalted things
  
• back where you came from
  
• the abyss
  
• backwards
  
• to the movies
  
• a gay bar
  
• forward
  
• into the sensuality and stillness of the present moment
  
• small claims court
  
• back home in your own mind
  
• one of Jupiter’s satellites
  
• deeper
  
• glorious and exuberant ruination
  
• into the pit
  
• toward the center
  
• somewhere out there to a Higher Source and to ask for supernatural help
  
• somewhere else
  
• further into the land of infinite recession
  
• to the place of perfect measure—the place that doesn’t exist, at least not at present
  
• the local shrine
  
• back to the drawing board
  
• to a night the autumn before everything changed
  
• back to the beginning and enjoy it all again

• color the outlined spaces
  
• gather up odds and ends here and there
  
• attack before dawn
  
• connect all the wires, turn it on, and hope it works
  
• ask the moon for compassion
  
• give up
  
• fly higher
  
• accept responsibility for your actions
  
• get back to your bedroom
  
• repair
  
• make conditions that they can meet
  
• proceed upon lines already established
  
• cure what might have never occurred
  
• fight to the very death
  
• dispose of the body
  
• soften the sharp edges
  
• untie the knot into a circle
  
• try to broaden its significance
  
• be sorry—humbly, bitterly sorry—and swear never again to be unkind—never never never again—until the next time
  
• play intensely
  
• work out a dignified way to come down
  
• make sure that whoever you show it to can read it

• to learn to stop
  
• to make sure the right people are in the right place at the right time
  
• not to thrust or over accentuate
  
• to be on time
  
• the song itself
  
• to protect the key remaining pieces
  
• to turn back and retake the road badly chosen
  
• to follow your dream
  
• to be observant
  
• to get communications working better
  
• that the trustee not be a friend or relative
  
• not a single thing but many little things
  
• that image has got to be right
  
• to really know your boat
  
• location
  
• long-term agreements
  
• to keep accurate records
  
• the personal touch—being flexible and accommodating
  
• blind, stupid, tunnel-vision self-confidence
  
• not to reveal your password
  
• the ability to figure out what is wrong
  
• to rely very heavily on self-help, self-initiated efforts
  
• to understand what the new realities of your society are
  
• you, then your outfit

• permanent separation
  
• admitting defeat
  
• prompt intervention
  
• a miracle
  
• early removal
  
• through collective action
  
• the tome of the watchtowers
  
• to drop the tyrant role
  
• pastoral counseling
  
• the guardians of the veil
  
• long-term analytic therapy
  
• to add maximum power and increase the angle of attack to the maximum lift condition
  
• to discover better living through something other than chemistry
  
• to find someone named Juan or Juana who was born on June 24th

• live in the Now
  
• choose, moment by moment, your future
  
• make others so
  
• be of use in the world
  
• expect to have your heart broken every day
  
• shut yourself up in art
  
• be busy
  
• be humble
  
• wish to be happy
  
• behave like what you are
  
• love
  
• tolerate uncertainty
  
• restore inner peace
  
• forgive
  
• emancipate from guilt
  
• aspire to a higher purpose
  
• wonder
  
• start yourself over and over again

• no trick: all you do is step over the edge and not look down
• “a piece of cake” compared to walking on mud
• knowing where the stones are
• better than breaking through ice
• scary business
• the same act as creating the world
• using the water's surface tension for support
• like walking on knives
• to experience the joy in living
• really no greater act of faith than flying a plane into the skies
• seeing and feeling the given miracle of life in every moment
• optional
• exactly like walking on land
• hard enough, but dancing on water — boy, that was tough
• not only a miracle — it’s advisable
• impossible, if you are human
• certainly not as great as rising from the dead
• not yet one of the skills taught in school
• not something people are born with, but rather a skill that anyone can develop if they learn to trust their vision and persevere in their practice
• the shouted "yes" to all that life will bring
• certainly not the “natural” thing to do
• not among my party tricks
• easy to someone with impulsive boldness
• more common than I’d once thought
  [Snippets gathered during the course of our research.]  See Bullet Lists.

Thanks to Elephant Bitterhead for saying, "I LOVE these lists.  They are poetic, profound, funny, sad, everything at once.  They remind of tarot or the I Ching.  Whatever you need, it's in there somewhere."

The only solution is to:

• sprout a pair of wings
• phase out the signal
• make the bucket bigger
• turn the machine off and leave it alone
• sedate them
• involve the community
• be disconnected and re-dial
• destroy the system and start all over again
• lighten the load
• make your home appear to be untenanted
• replace the damaged piece
• overthrow it and then poof...that's it
• abandon the dogmatic idea
• re-write the subroutine with higher precision
• grin and bear it
• prove them wrong
• drop the notion of total divine inspiration
• invent something different
• make the best of the material at hand
• limit the amount of information available
• accept the defeat and wait quietly for the positive forces to lead you
• reboot the system
• stop talking altogether and uses sign language
• do a backup for yourself
• travel off somewhere away from everyone

[Tidbits gathered through the course of our research.  See the remarkable collection, entitled Bullet Lists.]

• key
• raw potato
• dishcloth
• thimble
• candlestick
• night-light
• brooch
• curtain ring
• ball of wool
• steel pliers
• breakfast handbell
• teapot spout
• china powder box
• cheese knife
• glass-cutter
• teapot lid
• sixpence
• cup and saucer
• silver cigarette case
• box of matches
• thimble
• cottons
• milk jugs
• lemon squeezer
• glass inkpot
• chain necklet
• ink pen
• bread and bread-board
• apron
• tobacco pipe
• small doll
• safety pins
• counterpane
• shoes
• silver salt spoon
• looking glass
• soap dish
• comb
• hairpins
• magazine
• pillow
• chair
• rubber ball
• ornamental plate

We're honored that Gordon Meyer, of Smart Home Hacks fame, reviewed our book Bullet Lists:

This book is:

• • Unique
  • Clever
  • Succinct
  • Astonishing

At first glance, this book is just what the title says — a collection of unordered lists. (Or, as regular people say, “bulleted lists.”) But, what exactly are these lists? 

When you ask yourself that question, and pay close attention to the contents of this book, the breadth, and depth of research put into this publication takes your breath away.

Let’s back up. Google has an “autocomplete” feature that (often, hilariously) attempts to finish your query for you. It’s the Google AI guessing what you’re going to type next, based on what previous searchers have looked for. (And, thus, providing a disturbing glimpse into the soul of mankind.)

Bullet Lists is sort of like that, except that the author, Professor Oddfellow, has collected, compiled, and collated these lists based on primary sources. The result is not what your idiot neighbors have wanted to know, it’s what your fellow writers have put into print. (To be fair, they might also be idiots.) But this is a big and important distinction, and much more interesting. (Sorry, Google.)

At the very least, you have to appreciate the organizational prowess and persistence it took to compile this book. However, if you give it a chance to sink in, there’s a lot to savor. Get your copy at the Amazon.